i feel overwhelmed bc of school. i literally know that im not alone w it but i just dont think that anyone has the same opinion as mine. here is some of my opinion: school doesnt give a shit about our private life, still they act like they know EVERYTHING about me and about what can i do or i cant do, about that i had time to study or i didnt have the time. oh wait, they dont even think about that i didnt have the time to study. bc they think that i will remember everything from last lesson, or that i didnt even need to study other subjects. and what they think about the less, is that i didnt have the energy, i wasnt in the staus mentally to study.
but yeah ok then im the stupid kid who doesnt give a shit about their life. they all think that. all the teachers that are teaching a subject what i dont understand/like. even my parents think that. only 1 of my friends know how i feel and think about this, but yet they are the top of the class and she is trying to confort me, i know she doesnt know what to say, bc i dont know what to say when she has a mental breakdown. she overstudies every subject, and i can relate to that AT ALL and im not able to give the perfect help she need. just like she cant relate to my problem, thats why she cant help me perfectly.
But honestly its fine. cuz ive never had a person to talk to but now i have her and i appreciate it so much.
any time i try to study i end up crying cuz i dont know how to study. i was the kid who had good grades even in 8th grade without studying. now, i dont know how to study. thats what makes it hard. sometimes im really at that point that im gonna drop out and go to work in a strip bar(im not even kidding...).
but what will others think if im not as good as my sister, classmates, friends, mom, dad, other family members? im the stupidest one in the family rn bc i live by the "i wanna be free as bird, happy asf" thinking. thats all we need, dont we? being able to be free.
i wanna have good childhood stories. not the "i studied all the time" kinds.
have a good life, Reader❤
and know that u are NOT alone
YOU ARE READING
Night toughts
PoetrySometimes i feel that others have to know how do i feel when im alone, and maybe someone who reads this realises that they are not alone and its OK to be not OK. Thats why i start this book!! WARNING: it might have some triggering parts
