Anything (Male Reader x Hermione)

Season Two

Yn wandered through a dream world. It was clear what it was since everything was gray. Yn walked over and stopped at a small stream. The water was cold and flowing rapidly. He leaned in, taking some of it to his lips. "I wouldn't recommend that if I were you." Yn looked up. A small girl was sitting on a fallen tree on the other bank. She pointed at the stream. Yn looked down. A skeletal man floated downstream, just inches under the surface.

"What's going on?" yn asked as an old woman floated after the man.

"This is a stream of souls. You belong in it."

"What's it do?"

"Takes souls to processing."

"Why am I not in it?"

"You swam out."

"How do I go home?"

"You bargain, so what can you offer me?"

"I assume you don't want gold."

"You're correct." Yn's body was suddenly jerked towards the water. His foot slid in slightly before he could scramble back.

"What do you want?"

"Hmm, your soul would be nice." The force jerked yn again, his leg going into the water up to the knee.

"I have things to do in life."

"Then you should think fast."

"A burnt offering?" The force pulled yn into the water to his waist.

"No."

"Tell me what you want as long as it isn't me. I have a fiancée and daughter to get back to."

"I want a father."

"I can't help you there."

"You are already a father. Give me some fatherly advice."

"The most powerful force in existence is compounding interest."

"Something good that I could use."

"I don't know if this applies, but a lot of guys want to get into your pants. To weed out genuinely nice guys, don't have sex ideally until you're married, but at least for a few months."

"Useless."

"If you're on a date, never order more food than what you can pay for yourself. That ensures you can walk out at any point and pay for your meal. Always carry $20 for a taxi. Take responsibility for your actions, dress modestly and carry your own protection."

"Yawn."

"People change, but you can't change people."

"What?"

"We've all met people who've changed, and some people think they can change people for the better. You can't. You can encourage change, but you can't do it."

"I suppose that is acceptable. You may leave. Good luck with life. See you when you die." A tugging behind yn's belly button pulled him out of the world of the dead.

Yn softly squeezed the hard, hairy thing in his hand. He breathed deeply and sat up. "Yn!" Hermione shouted, lifting her head off his hand.

"Hey, Miney."

"How do you feel?"

"Thirsty." Hermione nodded and slid a bendy straw between yn's lips.

"Maia is with my parents. Let me get the doctor." Yn nodded, and Hermione disappeared. Half a minute later, she returned with an old man in doctor's robes. "Yn, this is Doctor Reiner. Dumbledore recommended him."