𝐤𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐚.

𝐬𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝟑𝟑

omniscient
katana and jahseh had been laying in her bed for the past hour just sitting in each other's presence 

jah wanted to keep talking to her and see how deep the conversation could get but he knew she was already half asleep by the way her voice sounded. her voice got soft and so low it was barely audible while her eyes weren't even open anymore

he wasn't even sure if she wasn't just fully sleep but he didn't mind, he had seemed to calm her down and take her mind off things even if it is just for a little while and that's all he wanted to do. he just wanted to take care of her and remind her she always has someone there for her

meanwhile kat wasn't fully sleep, she was just thinking. replaying everything that had ever happened to her that lead up to where she was now. all the losses, the heartbreaks, the trauma, everything

nothing could have prepared her for a lover like jah, someone who was so quick to take care of her and accept everything about her. she needed this, but mostly she needed to accept the situation she's in now

she needs to accept that no matter how hard she pushes him away, he's going to come back. his love for her was unconditional and that scared her. she was scared of not being able to reciprocate the same love to him

she was scared of disappointing him in ways she wouldn't be able to fix. everything about their dynamic worried her, they were so alike yet so different. he was so mature and spiritually enlightened while she wasn't. she was on a completely different wavelength than he was, his energy was so calm and comforting while hers was chaotic

she was scared he would get tired of her, get tired of her crying, tired of her pointless arguments, tired of what she looked like, tired of her personality, just tired of her overall

jah could felt his shirt dampen as tears ran down katana's face as she had once again, overthought herself into a breakdown

he rubbed her back and just let her cry. even though she didn't tell him, he could read her so well that he an idea what she was crying for and decided it was best to let her get it out before letting her know he'll always be there

he knew she was different from any girl he's ever messed with, so he knew he needed to have a different approach to their relationship. she was a hotheaded crybaby with a short temper and high walls blocking off anyone who came near her. even her best friends could barely get passed those walls

she was closed off and only gave small insight into her thoughts, so he took what he could get out of her. with people like her he knew that just being there was enough. even if he couldn't get her to open up, just staying with her and letting her know he was there whenever she needed was enough and he was right

"jah, promise me you won't get tired of me" she choked out and he nodded "never mi amore, even if we don't work out i'll always be there. i know you're scared of being abandoned but i'll never abandon you" he told her truthfully

kat sat up and wiped her face on her sleeve, her eyes were red and puffy, just like her cheeks. "i gotta stop crying over stupid shit bruh, this shit is getting annoying even to me" she mumbled and jah laughed

"you not even crying over stupid shit though, you crying over shit that means something to you" he reassured her and she shrugged "nah, i'm crying over shit i been told myself i was over. i swore i was over the abandonment issues and the daddy issues but i guess i'm not" she said as she crossed her arms over her chest

"you have daddy issues?" jah questioned and she nodded "my dad left when i was about 8, he was always in and out of my life. making promises he knew he couldn't keep, telling me i was daddy's girl and how he'd stick around for good this time. fucking liar, couldn't even get his shit together for the one person who was posed to mean something to him. but it's whatever, fuck that nigga. he's dead to me now, as far as i'm concerned he's just another nigga on the streets" she said flatly