Irresistible Desire

Am i Dreaming?

And that’s all that really matters. Right now, we’ve got each other—that’s all that matters.
I lean forward and kiss Jacob’s cheek lightly. “Good morning.”
A soft smile touches his lips before he opens his eyes, looking at me tenderly.
“Morning, sweetheart.”
“I thought you were leaving today,” I say, glancing away from him shyly.
He sighs, turning his gaze to the window, his hand running across my hip absentmindedly. “No, I’m not. I’ve decided to stay here with you instead.”
“Okay. Good. That’s great.” I nod eagerly as his finger traces a line up my side. He reaches my breast and presses a light kiss against the tip before lowering his gaze and continuing his path upward, circling around my hardened nipple until my skin feels tingly and sensitive. I shiver slightly.
“What are you thinking about?” He asks, smiling as he places another delicate kiss onto my breast.
I laugh nervously. “Well, it’s just, I was thinking, maybe…”
“Yeah?”
“Maybe I should just stay here.”
I can almost sense the confusion radiating off of him.
“Here, as in right here? In this room? With you?”
“Right here with you. I don’t want to move, not yet anyway.”
He laughs, the sound sounding almost disbelieving. “That sounds perfect to me.”
With those words, he pulls me closer, resting his forehead against mine.
He closes his eyes and smiles. After a moment of hesitation, I do the same.
After what feels like hours, we decide that we should get ready for our day, since we need to go to work. It would only take us half an hour. While Jacob gets dressed, I pull a black dress out from the dresser drawer. It’s a little tight and shows off my curves nicely, but not obtrusively and that’s what I need most at the moment.  I quickly put on my black high heels then step in front of the mirror and stare at my reflection. As usual, I think to myself, and try not to giggle. I can’t stop thinking about our night together. Even if I had never imagined I could be this happy.
Jacob comes out of the bathroom looking breathtaking. He’s wearing a pair of charcoal jeans and a fitted grey button down shirt, paired with a white blazer. His hair is swept back messily. His dark green eyes seem darker and smoldering as they stare intently into mine.
“How’d I look?” I ask tentatively.
“Incredible.” He replies, his hand grazing over my cheek as his thumb brushes gently over the corner of my lips. “You look beautiful, honey.”
I blush, and a small smile appears on my face as I glance down at my feet.
He takes me by the hand, leads me down the stairs towards the kitchen, and sets me up at the table.
“What do you want to eat for breakfast?”

“Whatever you’re having.”
“Hmm…” I hear him hummed thoughtfully, “how about pancakes? I don’t think we have any eggs…”
I chuckle softly and roll my eyes. My stomach grumbles loudly.
“Alright, alright. Pancakes it is then!” he says laughing.

Within the short time span of five minutes, the pancakes are done cooking and ready for us. He carries them over to the table and sits down across from me. I grab my knife and fork to start eating while he watches amusedly as he digs into the crispy pancake stack.
“They’re good! Really good,” I say, stuffing a large piece into my mouth.
“Of course they are. You know I’m quite talented when it comes to baking. Just ask anyone.” He winks playfully.
I raise my eyebrows, feigning surprise. “You? The great Jacob Wolfe? The greatest cook I know? Impossible.”
I continue eating as Jacob rolls his eyes.
Then I look up at him curiously and ask the question that has been on my mind, “Why do you cook so well?”
“My mother taught me,” he explains. “She wanted to protect me from the cruel world, and so she did. She knew that I would starve otherwise.” He pauses, his face softening with regret. “But she also taught me to use what resources I had available to me, to become stronger than what others expected. So I learned to defend myself, how to fight to survive and thrive in spite of the odds stacked against me. It made her proud. I guess, sometimes I wish I could tell her what an amazing person she is. What an inspiring woman. Sometimes I wish that I could show her how I’ve grown because of her lessons. But mostly I wish that she could be there with me right now."

He stops talking abruptly, as if remembering something unpleasant. Then he puts on a cheerful smile. "Don't worry," he says, winking conspiratorially, "if anyone tries to hurt you or hurt your feelings again, I'll break their neck!”
I burst out laughing. “Oh, stop it!” I say playfully pushing at his arms which he catches in an instant. He looks surprised for a second before a mischievous grin appears on his face, and he proceeds to tickle me mercilessly.

“Stop! Please, stop, you’re killing me, oh god—oh god—you’re gonna kill me, you bastard!” I shout as loud as possible, trying desperately to break free. I squirm around, laughing helplessly and trying to escape the torturous tickling.
After several seconds, my laughter finally ceases. I open my eyes and see Jacob staring at me. He stares for a few seconds, then smiles softly. Then he stood up and waved goodbye and left.

was it a dream? Am I hallucinating?No, it can't be. I just saw him and I felt his presence. We had a good steamy night too. We woke up together smiling at each other. We even had breakfast together. He made it for me. We both ate it too.

We laughed and talked together. We even kissed goodnight. What happened?
Maybe he’s a ghost? Yeah, I'm sure that’s what happened. After all, who would want to go to heaven? But why did he leave? It was so nice and peaceful when we were hugging, kissing...

No it can't be. It felt too real to fake it. I have to find him no matter what. He cares for me and I care for him. This time I'm not gonna lose him. I'll bring him back to me no matter what.  I’ll tell him everything. I know I will.
I have one plan in mind. One that is probably a stupid idea but it's better than sitting here waiting for God knows what to happen next. Maybe this is my only chance. If it doesn’t work I’ll try something else but I don’t think there’s another option. I'll find some way to bring him back if I have to. And if it works, I'll never let him go. Never. Not after all of these years.
Not after he saved my life countless times. Even if he didn't mean it, if he didn’t feel anything he must still believe it was worth saving. He has been by my side through thick and thin. I owe him nothing less.
And besides I promised myself I wouldn't do anything without thinking. If there’s anyone I know who needs to have a rational headspace right now it’s me. So, as much as I hate to admit it, I'll listen to the voices in my head instead of jumping blindly into things. That includes the ones inside my head telling me to do this or that.