Echos

Chapter 9

Porco couldn't stop shaking his leg. His mom noticed.

"Porco you're causing the booth the shake" she said.

"Oh, I-I didn't realize that I was tapping my leg so hard."

"Everything ok Porco?" His dad asked. He reached for another chip from the basket.

"Just nervous about final exams next week" he mumbled, which wasn't completely a lie. He had been in a daze the last few weeks and didn't feel super confident in his grades. If he didn't do well then.

But he was more nervous about telling his parents, especially his mom, about his planned trip.

Everyone was finally on board. Porco was surprised that Reiner said yes, and that his mom said yes.

Now it was time to convince his parents to let a 17 year old and his friends drive unsupervised across multiple states.

Porco was trying to put his pitch together while his parents talked about their family vacation, the first one without Marcel.

He finally decided to speak as they were about to start eating.

"So...I was thinking about going on a road trip" he said as he cut into his burrito.

"Why? We are already planning on going to the beach, we don't need two family vacations" his mom said.

"I'm talking about with my friends"

"Which friends? Where? Who is driving? Who is chaperoning?"

"Relax dear, no need to give him the 3rd degree" his dad laughed.

"Well, it's gonna be me, Bertholdt, Annie, Pieck, and Reiner"

"Reiner? I didn't think you guys got along?" His dad said.

"We don't hate each other, but he's got a car big enough"

"So Mrs. Braun is going then?" His mom said picking up a taco.

"No...um it's just gonna be the 5 of us" Porco said.

"No parents? Absolutely not" his mom said.

"Don't be so hasty, he hasn't even told us where they wanna go" his dad turned to him. "So where do you guys wanna go?"

Porco swallowed his bit of burrito.

"Austin, Texas"

His mom nearly choked on her drink.

"Texas??? That's over 4 states away!!!"

"I know but Austin is kinda cool and ya know pre senior year trip..."

"Absolutely not. I can understand maybe Myrtle Beach or Asheville, but Texas?!?"

"Mom, come on everyone else's parent's are ok with it?" Porco was trying to plead his case.

"I don't care!" She snapped. "I don't trust Annie's father's judgment, and the Hoovers have always been too out there with with Bertholdt, and of course Reiner's—"

"Just stop mom!!"

"Porco don't take that tone with me"

"Just, stop being so judgmental, you're judging other parents, yet all their kids are still alive"

Porco couldn't stop the words before they came out of his mouth.

The table fell silent. Just as the waiter came up to refill drinks. It was an uncomfortable 5 minutes.

As the waiter walked away. Porco's mom put her fork down.

"I'm going to the restroom" she said quietly.

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The car ride home was dead silent. While his mom was in the bathroom, Porco's dad got their check and to go boxes.

Porco had his headphones in. He wanted to drown out the silence.

A part of him regretted what he said. However, there was a small part that was kind of relieved. It was something he had said to the grief counselor before.

His mom had always been a bit judgmental of other parents, and it annoyed him as he got older. He felt that Marcel had been a wake up call that she didn't want to answer.

***************************************
Porco was laying in his bed, staring at the ceiling.

He had tried to apologize to this mom, but she just brushed passed him.

Now he waited for his parents to dole out a punishment.

He texted Pieck.

"I think really messed up with my mom and going to Texas"

She texted back.

"What happened?"

He was typing out his response when his dad knocked on his door.

"Porco?"

He put his phone down. "Come in"

His dad came into his room, "we need to talk"

"Look dad, I'm sorry about what I said to mom, I didn't mean it, I was just angry and..."

"Porco, your mom and and I both understand your anger. You were also right, your mom can be a bit judgmental about others. We don't really have a right to, when we couldn't even see what our own kid was going through. That he was so unhappy"

Porco but his hand in his dad's shoulder. "Dad Marcel was really good at hiding his emotions. No one had any idea. I'm his brother and I..."

"Porco why do you really want to go to Texas?"

Porco was a bit thrown off by his dad's change of subject.

"He knows" he thought. "It's hard to explain"

"How did you find out?" His dad asked. "About Marcel's heart donation?"

"Well...Pieck did most of the work, contacting the agency who handles organ donation for the state and we went from there"

"I just...I just feel like...I need to know what this person is like, I want Marcel's death to mean something..."

"You're looking for closure" his dad said.

Porco nodded.

"Porco I know you and your mom have had some friction that's only be intensified. But you mom loves you very much. She's scared, she doesn't want to lose you too."

"I know she does..."

"Look...I think this trip with your friends is a good thing for you. I think it's a good thing that you find yourself, and you heal in your own way. But you can't go and ambush these people."

"Yeah we haven't quite figured out how to find this person"

"I can help you with that. I have the families contact information, but you need to make sure they are ok with meeting you" his dad said. "But I'll talk to your mom, and let you go...maybe one day me and your mom will have that same strength.." his dad said as he started to cry.

He pulled his son into a hug, and Porco let's his own tears spill.

It was one of the first times he cried in his dad's arms since he was a kid.

To be continued.