Santa keeps it secret if you've been good or bad,
Like a moment simply waiting to be had.
"I don't know if I've been good enough this year,"
I say as I cut off his ear.
Oops, Santa's coat isn't the only thing that's red,
How am I going to get this out, the water of the dead?
In a frenzy, I rush to the tree,
The tinsel will surely help me.
I wrap him up nice, like a gift for a friend,
Slice and dice, tying up sweet loose ends.
This Yuletide crime shall go unpunished,
You can't reprimand a dead man.
This Yuletide crime was on my wish list;
You can't speak to a dead man.
In the shadows of this snowy night,
The hollows of this holy night,
I get away with a Yuletide crime,
Isn't snow supposed to be white?
I think they call the day after Christmas Boxing Day in the UK,
Ironic, isn't it?
I'm wrapping you up like the sweetest gift.
The cherry snow is melting now,
But it's too late to find you now.
Six feet under, mingling with mice,
Twelve days of Christmas and rotting delight.
Sugar high, maddening guy, holiday fright.
This Yuletide crime shall go unpunished,
You can't reprimand a dead man.
This Yuletide crime was on my wish list;
You can't speak to a dead man.
In the shadows of this snowy night,
The hollows of this holy night,
I get away with a Yuletide crime,
Isn't snow supposed to be white?
Like the Grinch, I stole all of your Christmases,
And as a result, you stole all of mine.
They found you, far removed from mistletoe kisses;
Letters from Santa, evidence all but signed.
In the festivities, things got out of hand;
Have you ever weaponised gorgeous garland?
I did, that's why it all happened;
Firelight designed to destroy a man.
Eyes open, festivities alight;
A nightmare before Christmas, what an awful fright!
