Cunnilingus Totalus

The Challenger

पाण्डुर् असि निशि न शेषे प्रतिदिनम् आविष्करोषि तनिमानम्
वयम् इव किं त्वम् अपि सखे! शशाङ्क! ताम् एव चिन्तयसि?

You are pale, friend moon,
And do not sleep at night,
And day by day you waste away.
Can it be that you too
Are only thinking of her?

—Subhāṣitāvali, stanza 1260

Something often mentioned to Draco, as he has railed about Granger down the years, is how remarkably similar they actually are. The thought makes him want to scream even as he admits it is — basically — true.

He spends the week planning to win. As a former Seeker (the Quidditch team spots are reserved for years 1-7, so he has aged out), he was less involved in the team's overall strategy for winning — formations, plan A, plan B, and so on. Bound to the whims of the Snitch, he had one job. And he did it well.

But Granger's defeat, which must be engineered with his tongue alone, he plans like a general. Using another chewed-up quill, he stays up late in bed, sketching his path to victory.

Memorandum of Preparation

from: D. Malfoy

to: D. Malfoy

The adversary: H. Granger, 18.

Experience of sex: rudimentary

Skepticism of sexual pleasure: high 

Determination to defeat me: high

The objective (what winning looks like)

Ensure that Granger:

-Reaches orgasm

-Does not fake orgasm 

-Orgasm is her strongest and best ever

-Concedes absolute supremacy of cunnilingus as sexual art form

-Concedes that sex is not simply homework assignment to slog through

-Concedes that sex is enjoyable

As a final, generous line item he reluctantly adds:

-Has wonderful time

-Wants to do it again

Then adds and crosses out Admits I was right about everything.

It's been a longish time since he went down, so he retrains his tongue, spending every meal sensitizing it anew. The textures of food, its viscosity and give. Several more green apples than usual disappear from the fruit bowls in the Great Hall. And eating dessert one day, he catches her eye.