Finding Alex

Chapter 9

Birdie woke up the next morning excited. She felt closer to her brother knowing that he had left these clues for her, he must've known she would find them. Birdie, for the first time in a long time, had hope.

She rolled out of bed and quickly changed; she had a few things she needed to do before she met Liam tonight. Birdie checked her phone, she had not heard from Zoe, and she was feeling guilty for neglecting her best friend, especially since Zoe has always been there for her and definitely would have understood if Birdie just explained. But she couldn't. Liam had advised her not to tell anyone, Birdie agreed, they shouldn't get anyone else's hopes up, especially if this didn't lead to anything.

Birdie's parents were home today, she could hear them bustling around in the kitchen. She would tell them she was going to Zoe's house tonight so she could get away without being questioned. Birdie looked at her reflection in the hallway mirror as she passed it on her way downstairs. Her hair was tucked behind her ears and behaving rather well today. As she looked into her big eyes, she remembered the picture of Alex that she found in the garage, she remembered the colour of his eyes and how they were different. She wanted to ask her parents why his eyes looked different, but she had a feeling it might make them upset, probably just some genetic thing. Downstairs Birdie's mother was perched at the kitchen bench, her head buried in a magazine. Her frail body hunched over so much that Birdie thought she would topple over at any moment. Her father was, as always, at the dining table, reading through a stack of papers, probably something works related. They didn't look up as she entered.

Birdie grabbed a mug from the cupboard and placed it down on the kitchen countertop a little too loudly making both her parents jump slightly and look up in her direction.

"Oh good morning Bridgette, you scared me. I didn't hear you come down," Her mother exclaimed, placing a hand on her heart to calm her pace down.

"Sorry I did not mean to startle you," Birdie offered them a small smile.

"Keeping up with your schoolwork?" her father asked, his eyes glued to his reading.

"Yes, of course," Birdie answered as she reached into another cupboard and pulled out a tin of vanilla matcha powder. She scooped a large scoop out and placed it into her dainty cream mug that had a collection of small blue flowers painted across it. It had been a gift from her late grandmother and Birdie used the mug every single day for her morning matcha.

"Good," her father stacked his papers together and collected them under one arm as he stood up, "I am heading into the office today, if you need anything from town, I am happy to get it just send me a message."

Birdie nodded and her father walked over to her mother and kissed her head before stalking out of the kitchen. Her mother has resumed her own reading. Her parents had been quiet lately, more so than usual and she didn't quite understand why but she knew better than to probe. Birdie took her matcha and carried it back towards the back of the house. She found the back door that led onto the back patio. Birdie took a seat on the coffee table and chairs that looked out across the backyard. Beyond the yard, there was lush green woodland, and it was peaceful to sit outside and enjoy the sounds of nature and the silence that isolation granted her. She was thinking about Alex. About what had happened to him. She hoped he wasn't scared, she wanted to think that he was brave, that he could fight and protect himself. She forgets that although he is her older brother, the night he went missing he was only young himself. She often thought about what it would be like if he was still here now. What kind of person would he have become? She pictured him as a smart and protective older brother. Waiting up for her to get home or joining her when she went out altogether. She pictured him, Zoe and her, maybe even Scott, going on adventures, having game nights or just hanging out. She wondered if Alex would have liked Liam. She decided he would have, there weren't many people Alex didn't like, and he could get along with anyone. That's how Birdie knew Alex would be okay, wherever he was.

She spent most of the morning studying, and apart from a brief call to Zoe, she stayed off her phone completely. At about mid-day, she got the cleaning bug and spent the next few hours cleaning her room. By the time she had finished she looked out the window, the sky was turning orange indicating that the sun was setting, she looked at her phone: 4:30. Crap she almost missed it. She texted Liam to let him know she would be on her way soon. She quickly changed, putting on some wide-leg jeans and a cream knitted top with a long neck to keep her neck warm and she threw on a flannel jacket. It was going to be a cold evening tonight. Downstairs her parents were watching tv in silence and she stopped for a moment to watch them. They sat on opposite ends of the long couch, not touching, not even acknowledging each other. Sometimes she questioned if they even really loved each other. There rarely was a time she had seen them act affectionate towards each other, but she just put it down to the fact that they weren't those kinds of people, but now she didn't know. Was this just a marriage of convenience? She hoped it wasn't. Nonetheless, she vowed to never turn out like them, no matter the circumstances she will not be like her parents when she was older.

When she was with Scott, she had pictured their future together. The whole two kids and a picket white fence ordeal, it was safe, it was possible. Their parents used to joke about it, and their friends at school would joke about it. Everyone thought that Scott and Birdie were 'endgame'. So when Birdie ended things just under a year ago it shocked everyone, everyone but Zoe who had seen it coming before Birdie saw it herself. It wasn't that Birdie had fallen out of love; it was that the love had changed. It wasn't passionate, it wasn't consuming like it used to be. When they first started dating, they couldn't keep their hands off each other, the world sneak out on dates, and hold hands at every possible chance. It was new and exciting. They were only young of course, 12 years of age so their relationship began innocently. As they grew older things changed, and Scott became more consumed by their future. Their future together, and though at times Birdie let herself feel excited about it, it just didn't feel like everything she wanted. Soon he began to feel like that, he felt overwhelming to her. Birdie wanted to live in the moment, and Scott was focused on the future. Zoe had told Birdie to end things before it got worse, so they could maintain the friendship.

Birdie had done it one Sunday afternoon. They had spent the day with Scott's family at the beach, Scott and Birdie had gone home earlier than everyone else to prepare for school the next day. Birdie sat down on Scott's bed and held his hands. His face, she will never forget his face, it was as if he knew what she was about to say, he knew this was coming. He kept shaking his head, promising to get better, promising they could fix this. Birdie had kissed him and wiped the tears from his cheek, she held him close to her and whispered in his ear that she loved him still, but she needed a friend more than she needed a boyfriend and that one-day Scott would find someone else, someone better, someone who could love him completely. It was a sad day, and for a second time in her life Birdie felt as though she had lost a part of herself, and maybe the reason she held on to the idea of her and Scott for so long was because of Alex. Too much had changed, and she didn't want anything else to. She cried herself to sleep with Zoe rubbing her back and her mum running cups of tea up to her room every hour.

It took them time, but Scott and Birdie had fallen into a friendship, it was awkward at first but then it grew better and until this whole thing with Liam, it had been great. Now a year on from their breakup and their friendship was facing a challenge.

Birdie looked at her watch, that certain challenge would soon be waiting for her to arrive, she took one last look at her parents and left quietly out the front door.

Zoe looked into the bag that a man on a scooter had just dropped through Scott's car window to her. She scrunched her nose,

"Damn they forgot my Aioli."

"How can you think about Aioli right now?" Scott rolled his eyes but reached his hand out to the bag, Zoe promptly slapped it away. She reached into the bag and pulled out a hamburger and passed it to Scott.

Zoe was about to bite into her own burger when Scott slapped her on the shoulder.

"Um ow!" she said about to launch into a full-blown attack on Scott when she saw him pointing at Birdie's house. Birdie was walking down the drive, a bag on her back. She looked determined. She took off in the direction of her old house.

"Do we follow her?"

"Yes!" Zoe cried as she folded up the paper bag on her lap, her burger could wait.