Surrogacy

Chapter 1: All hope lost

It was after hundreds of unsuccessful attempts, a few IVF procedures, and a dozen negative pregnancy tests when Cleo and Lewis were in the hospital in their doctor's office, waiting for their results.. again.

Through the years, they had tried many times to conceive a child in many different ways, but unfortunately they didn't succeed.

Cleo reached and wrapped her fingers around Lewis' hand, squeezing it tight. In reality she was afraid of the results, because if sure of anything in this very moment it was she wouldn't be able to bare one more negative result.

Lewis squeezed her hand back, deep in his own thoughts. He didn't know what to feel anymore. They had tried anything to have a baby, lead more by Cleo's wishes than his own, but this whole nightmare was killing him too. To top it all they didn't know what was the problem that was preventing them of having a child; Cleo had refused to be tested and find out, because she was scared the problem might've been in her.

The fourth and last IVF procedure Cleo went through had been the previous week and now they'd come to take their results and find out if it was successful or not.

It actually wasn't easy for them to go through all this hospital procedures because of Cleo's big secret of being a mermaid, but somehow they'd managed it. They were both determined to go through whatever was needed to finally have the baby the wanted so much.

The tension while they were now waiting for the doctor was killing them.

Finally the door opened and their doctor walked in.

"Mr and Mrs McCartney, I've got your results." Dr Huffman said, holding a folder in her hands.

She opened it and her eyes scanned the pages.

"Unfortunately, the last IVF procedure was unsuccessful again. Your results are negative. You're not pregnant. I'm sorry."

Lewis tightened the grip of his hand around Cleo's and turned to look at her; her face was motionless, not a muscle moving, not a tear rolling down. She was in a state of numbness, staring into the empty space.

"Cleo?" Lewis said quietly.

Very slow like in a slow motion, she turned her head to him. He could clearly see the wetness that was beginning to fill her eyes.

"Let's go home." Was the only thing the brunette managed to say before standing up and heading to the door.

Lewis nodded and hurried to follow her.

The drive home was a quiet and extremely tense one. Neither knew what to say to make the other feel better.

When they arrived at their house Cleo jumped out of the car and ran inside then upstairs to their room. Lewis locked the car and followed her in.

He walked into their room, just in time to see Cleo bursting into tears. He sat on the bed and took her in his embrace, placing a kiss on the top of her head. She let her head rest on his chest, and continued crying for a long time, until she didn't have any tears left. Now she was just starting somewhere at the space, tired of crying, tired of everything.

"Maybe we should give up." Her voice sounded quiet and a bit choked, breaking the silence for first time from hours and making Lewis slightly jump on his place. "Maybe we just aren't meant to have a baby."

"Cleo, don't talk like that. We are going to have a baby one way or another. There are still many things we could do like adoption or surrogacy." Lewis said, rubbing her back with his hand.

Cleo looked down to her flat belly and pain spread in her chest.

"But if we decide to adopt or use a surrogate mother it won't be the same if I were carrying it inside me. Then I'd never experience the essence of the pregnancy myself; I won't experience the morning sickness (not that I regret it), I'll never feel the baby growing inside me, I'll never feel the baby kick in my stomach for first time, I won't experience the contractions when it's time for it to be born, I won't experience the pushing, the pain..I won't experience anything."