The People of Dewbrook

Chapter Twenty-One

It was ten hours past midnight the following day when Rosemary went out for a walk, indisputably shaken by the severe mental pain of heartbreak and illness. The weather was terrible, what with the grey clouds that mercilessly enveloped the morning sky, not letting a single ray of the sun shine through, and the winds of cold that ever so slightly swayed the black, withered branches of the dead trees all around her, but in her heart, she felt that there was something poetic even about this dreary landscape. As she walked gently over the unmown grass, her mind slowly descended into the deep valley of her thoughts, serene and sorrowful all at once.

With her surroundings so calm and asleep, she had all the time in the world to lovingly observe her state of mind while birds occasionally sang near her. However, there was not very much to be lovingly observed, for the happiness that she had felt was momentary and hollow, fueled only by the innocent romanticism that had always been a part of her. Her new, darker romanticism appeared suddenly, not allowing her to escape from it.

Her body had betrayed her, and Samuel had betrayed her also. Despite the immense pain of it all, it would have been a relief to know that those were the only betrayals in her life. What truly pained her was the fact that she had betrayed herself as well. She had let herself become a fornicating virgin, eager to lose the innocence she never really had with an affair, mesmerised by desires that were truly carnal and filthy, even if it was nothing but a moment's want. During most of the months when she wrote letters to him, she had never thought that there could be anything more to it, and now she had seen it as a prospect, if only weakly. She did not know how to judge herself based on what she had seen within herself. She had sinned, but was she a sinner in any way that mattered? The situation was as tangled as a Gordian knot, and her head hurt from it all.

Soon enough, there was a relief, or at least it seemed that way. She saw Caroline standing over the river and waved to her with a smile, startled by what she saw when she began to examine her closely. The woman in question resembled a phantom with her posture and look of madness as she frantically washed the dress she had worn the night before, dropping it into the water due to being startled by Rosemary's arrival. As Caroline fetched the dress from the water, Rosemary waited with cold sweat running down her back, not knowing how much of it could be attributed to her sickness and how much of it could be attributed to the strangeness of this event. When Caroline returned at last, Rosemary did not hesitate to speak:

"Hello, my dear Caroline. What is happening with you at the moment? Why are you washing your dress when one of our servants could have done so easily, and why are you so disturbed?"

"And why are you walking around here in a state of such sickness?" Caroline asked, crossing her arms.

Rosemary wagged her finger. "No, you do not get to avoid my question. I am not letting you leave before you answer me."

Caroline snorted. "What is so odd about washing a dress, Rosemary?"

Rosemary shook her head. "It is a bit odd, but that is not what I meant to ask. I meant to ask you why you looked so haunted while doing it."

"It is nothing," Caroline responded, uncomfortably tilting her head. "There is nothing that could haunt anyone on such a fine day, right, Rosemary?"

Rosemary nodded reluctantly.

After several seconds of complete silence, Caroline yawned. "Last night was terrible. I had ten hours to sleep and could not do so for a single minute."

Rosemary raised an eyebrow. "But why would it be so? Why was last night different from any other?"

Caroline scratched her neck. "That is precisely the question I had asked myself, my dear, but it turns out that my nerves are in utter disarray due to some things that have happened recently and that my state of mind decided to be horrible for no real reason at all. The point is that I have had to go for a walk in the woods and now feel nothing but exhaustion within my bones and I crave sleep more than anything."