Searching for Myself

Family Christmas

ABBIE

"Merry Christmas!" Bobby cheers as he greets us. He instantly has me wrapped tightly in his embrace and I snuggle in here.

"Merry Christmas," I smile fondly at him.

"Wyatt. Merry Christmas." He holds his hand out and Wyatt takes it.

"Merry Christmas to you, Bobby."

Bobby drops down so he's eye level with Jerra. "Hey now. I remember you. You got the magical Christmas spirit cupcakes."

"I did!" Jerra doesn't even hesitate. She throws herself around him in a hug. Bobby looks up at me with a huge smile as he lifts her up. "They worked too. They were yummy and even daddy was singing. Daddy can't sing at all and he hardly does it but the cupcakes made him! Do you have any left?"

"Of course I do," Bobby chuckles with a smirk towards Wyatt. "It isn't Christmas without them. We'll all be singing later."

"Oh yay! Isn't that great, daddy?"

"Super great," Wyatt rolls his eyes at me.

"Come on. There are so many people who want to meet you," Bobby says to Jerra.

"I like meeting new people. Daddy said you guys are Abbie's family but she just met you. My daddy doesn't have a family either. Just me and Abbie and our baby."

Bobby stops walking and turns towards us. "I didn't know that," he says to Wyatt. "You were adopted too?"

"Aged out of foster care," Wyatt answers and I watch as Bobby frowns and a look of sadness appears in his eyes.

"Well you have a giant family now." He begins walking again and I give Wyatt a small kiss on his jaw before we follow him. "Look who I found," he announces and the festive noise increases. It's slightly overwhelming, especially as I see people I've never met.

Trey immediately runs up and hugs me. "Why haven't I seen you for a long time?" He asks, causing my guilt to hit me hard. "I thought I'd be seeing you a lot." How do I explain that I'm uncomfortable around his mom, our mom, and I didn't even want to come today knowing she'd be here?

"I'm sorry. I've been busy. Merry Christmas though."

"Thank you. Merry Christmas!"

Elliot hugs me tightly next, followed by Asher, Jessa, and Faye. There are so many Merry Christmas' being thrown around. It's slightly chaotic and overwhelming, but I also love it. The holidays have never been like this for me. They were quiet, sad, and lonely. Even when mom was alive, it was never this loud.

I startle when Bobby lets off a loud whistle. "Simmer down, you lot. We've got introductions to make here."

"Hi, I'm Jerra." She waves at everyone with such a huge smile. "This is my Abbie. She's going to marry my dad, right there. She's not going to be my mom though. My mom told me that. She will be a stepmom. That just means she's marrying my dad I guess." I didn't realize Ivy told her that. It's not surprising that she wouldn't want Jerra calling me mom. Wyatt shifts uncomfortably next to me and puts his hand on my back. I lean into him. I'm sure he's annoyed too. Jerra can call me whatever she wants. I just hate that Ivy is trying to control it.

Things have been going good with the new custody agreement. Our lawyer suggested a few things and Ivy made the changes. Wyatt signed the next day. So far, it's been amazing. Wyatt just lit up having Jerra with us for an entire week. She seems really happy too. This is his first week without her, but it was broken up so they can both see her for Christmas. Ivy's been surprisingly pleasant too. I was nervous when she dropped Jerra off and it was just me at home. Wyatt had gotten called into work but she was completely fine with it. She made sure I had her number just in case anything came up. Maybe Wyatt was right. Maybe Ivy realized she can't come between us and has accepted me and what is best for Jerra... maybe.