Caramel Arrow is way too much of a girlboss (Devsis confirmed) and lives with her beautiful malewife Affogato, who may or may not be homicidal.
This is their daily life.
Caramel Arrow: It's perfect, you're amazing Affogato. *Pecks him on the cheek*
Affogato: Oh but it could never be as perfect as you my dear~
Crunchy Chip: Okay, cut the lovey dovey crap and cut the cake! I'm starving.
Affogato: Patience patience, captain. *He placed a quick kiss on Caramel Arrow's lips and grabbed a knife. Ever so elegantly, he cut the cake into even slices for everyone.* Alright everyone, grab a plate and get a piece!
Crunchy Chip: Oooh Wildberry you gotta try this! Affogato's cooking is amazing! *Takes a slice and wolfs it down* Mmmmm! Delicious!
Wildberry: *Takes a bite out of his piece* It's...alright. Sometimes I forget about your kingdom's fondness of bitter foods...
Affogato: *Holds piece of cake with a fork* Say "aaaah" darling~
*Caramel Arrow opens her mouth and Affogato shoves a piece of cake in it.*
Caramel Arrow: *Chews cake* Wow...it tastes wonderful. Also a little...fruity?
Affogato: *Picks up a slice* Do you want one your majesty?
Dark Cacao: Um, no thank you Affogato. Now please excuse me, I'm going to chug down a gallon of gasoline...which is what normal breathing cookies do...
*Dark Cacao then wide Putin walks out of the door*
Wildberry: Um, First Watcher of the Dark Cacao kingdom Caramel Arrow?
Caramel Arrow: Eh? Why are you being so formal Wildberry? You can just call me big sis now!
Wildberry: Uh...I'll just call you 'Caramel Arrow'. *Clears throat* Caramel Arrow, I have gotten a gift for you.
Caramel Arrow: A gift? What is it?
Wildberry: *Scratches in his bag* Hold on let me get it quickly...it should be right here...right, I got it. Here you go.
*He takes a mug out of his bag and gives it to Caramel Arrow*
Wildberry: Oh, my apologies. That mug is for someone else. *He takes back the mug and puts it back into his bag. He then starts scratching around for the other mug.* Let me just get the other mug...it should be in here somewhere...is this it? No, it's not. Hold on let me just...where did I put it...come on now...Oh, I found it. Wait no that's a different mug. I'm sure I put it in here let me just...just a minute please...
A/N: Wildberry, collector of mugs and tiny wolf boyfriends.
ALSO ALSO!!! DID YOU KNOW I HAVE AN AO3?? AND I PLAN TO POST ALL MY WRITTEN AFFOCARA OENSHOTS THERE??? AND I HAVE POSTED ONE ALREADY???
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GO READ IT NOW! https://archiveofourown.org/works/43516126
I'll try to balance writing both the crackfic and oneshots, but for now the schedule for the crackfic is back on track! Yaaaay!
