While the moon is bright and the stars shine, I'd look up through the window to gaze at the dark night.
Exhausted from the day, sad about the fate, I let my tears meet my chicks as I am trying not to make any noise.
Putting some music on my earphones and waiting for my body to discharge and my brain to fall down. I wish I was sleeping but that's not easy.
Once I have dried up I am clueless what to do next. It feels emptier than it was and I must find another occupation. What could I do ?
Here you are, writing this down is indeed my best solution. There is no reason why we should pity it. That's the way every human can consider as the right way.
(No historian would gainsay me, neither would people who suffered or went through harsh time.) Letting go can be accomplished with either the will to let go, or the archaic and most ancient sacred element: writing.
I must say it is not easy to get used to feeling sad, I am more of a light hearted person than the one who falls at any time because of his feelings. I would like to go on with the old me, although it would be lying not to show how I feel tonight.
And the world knows I hate lying and going against my own convictions.
The point is, unconsciously, I may not be prepared for this. Telling the world, at least to myself that the way I am treated pains me, that my mental health is good but it could get destroyed.
The thing is I am on the right road to die. I've started burning or maybe I have learned to cope with the flames but here they are : growing up and getting outside.
( I am not saying any dark force or any weird power has entered my body.)
All that is dealt with here, concerns the way my own vision has evolved.
Trying to say the fewer I think, reaching a non-return point. Overthinking is really the devil in our generation. Cannot go over it, cannot avoid it making me fear reactions or anything else that doesn't seem rational.
In fact the whole feeling is gone and it's time for me to sleep. I am already waiting for it to come again : we'll meet pretty soon
