gold rush

i don't like a gold rush (part 2)

To your luck, you were wrong. Wrong in the worst way possible. He had a class with you, it turned out. Technically. You had the same free period as him, which was the worst possible thing that could've happened. You just didn't notice it yesterday because you hung out with your friends, who also shared this free.

So that in fact made it even worse, because he was sitting across the library from you, with a boy you had a crush on in seventh grade, and you couldn't even justify trying to hang out with him without ditching Evelyn, who was sitting across from you solving math equations.

You could feel your face heating up as you glanced up at the ceiling, questioning the universe you lived in. Why did they have to be so evil to do this? To bring him around you all the time, only at an arm's distance?

You dramatically gazed back over at him, pretending you were in a TV show. Were you really going to avoid him like this? Pretend he never existed, until the possible (extremely unlikely) chance that he'd call your name one day and be interested in you?

Yes, you really were.

"Y/N, you good?" asked Evelyn. Bless her soul. She had no idea what it was like to live a life of mind games. She was the most innocent of your friends, you considered. Always looking for the good in people and concentrating deeply on her school work and the club she co-managed.

"What?"

"I just saw you looking over there, and I don't know, you looked distracted."

You gave her a reassuring smile, relighting your ChromeBook to focus back on your assignment. "I'm fine. Sorry. Just zoned out a bit."

______

You waited and waited for the day to come, but it never did. It became more and more apparent to you that that first day of school thing was just a one-time thing. You spotted him walking around the school with more and more people. Expanding beyond the initial group of tall, popular boys, he'd seemed to have befriended practically every clique in the school. You walked past them all with your eyes straight, feeling your skin heat up, prepared for a look that never came.

There were only two things keeping you afloat. One, the fact that you had never spotted a girl around him. And two, the fact that one time, as you passed by him in the halls talking loudly with Maya, you felt him take a second glance and look down at you.

It was so abrupt that you didn't even know if it happened. Maya was telling a story but you couldn't hear any of the words, your heart was pounding like a rocket and you felt jittery and antsy. While also being overwhelmingly upset with yourself for caring about such a small, inconsequential thing.

You caught Maya's eyes as she talked. She hadn't mentioned Daniel since that first day of school, though she did talk about English class a lot and how much she liked her teacher. You wondered if she was as obsessed as you were with this boy. Probably not. It didn't seem to be as irrationally obsessed as you felt now. Suddenly, a horrifying realization hit you.

What if he was only looking over at you because Maya was with you?

"Hey, babe, you listening?" Maya's voice felt like an echo in the numbing silence your mind had just been thrown under.

You shook your head faintly, already feeling tears prick at the corner of your eyes. God, you were such a crier. You cried so easily, and over the stupidest things. "No," you choked, barely audible over the roar of the hallway crowd.

You felt Maya's concerned gaze resting over you. "1:05, Y/N. Meet me out here."

______

"I can't get him out of my head!" you exclaimed, holding your head in your hands. You'd asked to go to the bathroom in your math class and now were sitting on the edge of a common area revealing your feelings to Maya. You felt an inordinate amount of embarrassment admitting your attraction to a guy so out of your league. Especially to someone as naturally beautiful as your friend. You had, however, chosen to not tell her who it was. She probably wasn't paying too much attention in the halls, right?"