Who do you think you are?

Chapter 6: I've decided

Cas' POV:

OMG!! Dean just kissed me. He kissed me. It had to have been one of the most awkward things that has ever happened to me. Scratch that...it was the definitely the most awkward thing I have ever been through. I mean I like Dean and all but we're just friends, and I'm not gay.

Right?

My thoughts were interrupted by the shrill sound of the bell ringing. I quickly gathered my things, left the classroom making sure that I wasn't seen by anybody and made my way towards the nurses office.

Once I got her office she immediately started questioning me on why I was absent from first class. I simply told her I was sick and needed to go home so she called my mum to come pick me up. I sat in the sick room for no more then five minutes before my arrived and once she did I walked straight out to the car, ignoring anything the nurse was telling me.

"So what was so wrong with you that I had to come pick you up?" My mum asked as soon as I got in the car and I shrugged. She kept talking and asking me questions but I just zoned out.

I wasn't in the mood to talk. I had to many things going on in my head. I couldn't stop thinking about Dean and how he had kissed me.

Why do Dean kiss me?
Did he like me as more than a friend?
Did I like him as more than a friend?

These questions kept bouncing around in my head, demanding to be answered. Before I knew it mum had parked the car and was heading towards the door. "Are you coming in, or should I just leave you there?" She asks and I answer her by silently getting out of the car and entering the house.

Once inside I went straight to my room and flopped down on my bed. I grabbed a random pillow form the bed an screamed into it. It felt good to do that, let it all out.

All my problems, all my worries just gone with that one scream. And then they all came flooding back. Those three questions were once again in my head, but I had no idea how to answer them. I lay on my bed for around two hours before my mum comes in.

"I thought you might want some lunch." She says carrying in a sandwich and some orange juice and setting them down on my desk. "Mum..." I say just as she is about to close the door once again. She turns around to face me and comes back into the room.

On one hand, I thought it would really help if I could talk to someone about what was happening in my life, but I also knew that Lucifer was forced to leave because he was gay. I was scared of my mother reacting to my current situation in the wrong way. So I decided to test it out first.

"Why did Lucifer leave?" I ask and she sighs. "I think I know why but I just want to know if that's the real reason." I say and she sits down at the foot of bed. "Why do you think he left?" She simply asks. "Well, I know he had a boyfriend but that's basically it." I tell her and she nodded, processing what I told her.

"And you want to know if that's the reason I made him leave?" She questions and I nod. "No. I mean I wasn't exactly happy about him having a boyfriend but I would never make him leave because of that." She explains smiling at me. She then moves to get up but I stop her.

"There was guy at school. It was him that let us all stay at his house yesterday. Anyway we were having a really good time, and I thought we could have actually been friends. Then he...he uh...he kissed me. At first I thought it was weird but now that I think about it, I actually kinda liked it. And now I don't know what to do." I tell her and she just smiles at me.

"Love is love, Castiel. You can't pick who you fall in love with and just so you know, I would never judge on whether you fall in love with a girl or boy. I love you no matter what." She says before kissing my forehead and heading towards my door. "Oh, I almost forgot. Your dad left last night, so we're safe for another wee while." She smiled and left my room.

Once she is gone I smile to myself. Talking to her actually helped, even though I didn't say that much. Just knowing she will support me no matter what, makes me worry less about what the outcome of me answering the biggest question ever will be.

Lucifer only left a couple of years ago when I was fourteen and ever since then I thought it was because he had a boyfriend. So all my life any time I had a thought about another boy, I would push it away in fear of having to leave, just like Luci did. I had never even noticed I had been doing it, I just did.

Now that I knew my mother would be ok with me being gay, I started to think about Dean again. Except this time it was different. Without the fear of being shunned weighing down on me I felt like I could really think about it freely. I lay on my bed thinking about it for a good half hour before going to my desk, eating my sandwich and then going back to my bed to think.

It took me another hour but I felt like I successfully answered my first question. Dean kissed me for one of two reasons.
a) he likes me as more than a friend or
b) he got caught up in the moment.

I was going to take it as B because I thought it was better to be safe rather than sorry. Now I had to answer the big question. Was I gay.

I kept asking myself that one question for the rest of the night. It took me all day to figure it out but I finally got answer to that all important questions just before I fell asleep.

I decided that I was....

A/N
I am so sorry for not updating don't hate me please I just didn't know what to write and I had like no time.

So yeah Cas has decided what do you guys think he's decided. Is he gay or not. Comment what you think.