Put it down..
Just put it down
You don't need it
I said to myself while holding lucifers
Put it down i said
Now with a lucifer in my hand
Put it down
I thought again
Now while lighting the lucifer
Don't
Just put it down..
The lucifer stopt Burning
At that moment i wanted to cry
Dont do it again.
Dont light it
You dont need it
I though while putting the hot piece of wood on my skin
Why
Why did i do it
I asked myself
now being able
To hold my tears in
Because it helps
But its not healthty
I though..
No, no its not
But how do you feel?
Horrible...
Did you cry?
I didn't
Why?
Because there was a piece of burning wood in my skin?
Yes
J did not cry
Because there was a piece of burning wood in my skin.
But yet i feel like shit
But why..
I told myself
Dont do it
Dont do it
Just dont fucking do it!!
And i did
And i did not cry
And while thinking that.
My mind started to slow down
It was empty again
Because when i have the feelings
Like my head is gonne explode
Like someting is gonne burst out of my eyes
Like someone i care about is gonne hate me
Like everything i wanted to be alright now is broken
I did
I did
I put a piece of burning wood and my skip
And fuck did it feel great
Its like making an opening for al the anger, stress,pain, self hatred and bad thoughts so they can just flow out of me
But i know.
That tomarrow i'll do the same time ging because
In the end
We al die
We al have
anger
Stress
Pain
Self hatred
And bad thoughts
But some people are just better at hiding it
Some hide it bye waring long sleeves
Some hide it by telling everyone
No, no,no i'm fine.
Your not fine
Fine is the one word nobody
Would every though
Fine is the devensen of lies
Al lies
Lies
Lies
Lies
And more lies
Some people tell you lies
But the most lies come out of you
Like i'm fine
Or
Its oke
Or
Dont worry i'll handel it.
When i do cry...
I look in the miror
And put on w smile
When tears are Röling over my face
The smile thats a lie
I'm not fine
Its not oke
And
I can not handle it
I just Wanne
Say
Scream
Shout
I'm tired!!
I Wanne go to bed
Every one is like
I did this today
Whao really
I did this
I did
I did
I did
I did
I did!!!
Well you know
Fuck you
You know what i did it what i did not do??
I did not jumpt
I did not throw myself
Of a building
I did not slit my wrist
I did not point a gun at my head
I did not try to drown myself
You know what i did??
I got out of bed
I got to school
On time or not i dont care
I got there
And they still juge me for it
I hang out with my friends
I did my chores
I came home
And eat
And went to bed
And the next day i did it again
And again
And again
And again
And again
And again
And again
And again
But yet when i say i got out of bed
That voice in my head screams
Well you would have took a shower
Well you would be in time
You should have been nicer
You should have eaten
More or less
You should do more chorses do you even see your family and friends
Their tired
They have done a lot
More then you
And you would have fell asleed more early
Its like its saying you sould be better at living.
But i dont blame it
I mean
Its my mind
My life
My chores
So i Wanne say to everyone
I'm sorry
But i'm trying
But i dont have to worry right?
Cause these are all hormones
Right
Just following a trend
Just trying new things
Just the fucking hormones
Just please shit up
I dont blame you
I dont hate you
I hope you dont
Blame me
I hope you dont
Hate me
Because i already do
I already
Blame me
I already
Hate me
So don't say you do to
But just dont
Just put it down
Just litsing once
Just, just put it down
