Crossroads

Mid-life crisis

They say you have you mid-life crisis in your 30's....I guess they were right. I didn't think I was gonna ever had one. Things like that don't happen to people like me. What problems could I possibly have that I'd my life be that out of control and spiral my life into a bombshell.

My marriage feels like it's falling apart and it's definitely my fault. I'm so stupid to believe I deserve anything I have. To lazy when I'm so hard working. I keep pacing and wondering why I do. Only in the end to have woundup at your door. Was I so lost wandering I walked straight home in the end?

When nothing felt right I still had the night sky and forest to run to atleast there I could be alone...Or so I thought. The moon my only friends and the sky flickered with stars the burn with the bright passion to light up other people's paths but my own.

Who was to lead me in the darkness I made. Even with someone I feel so lost. Even when I had a place to call home I still found a way to mess it all up. When will I get to live the life I wanna live? I have so much hope in my heart for the life I want...but not much hope of finding it.

I now stand at the crossroads of what I have chosen for myself and what I wanted before I made all my mistakes and the things I wanted for myself out of life. Nothing has ever gone as I planed it. Fate is a fickle bitch that way.