Crossroads

Picking Sides

   When you say that you plan out your whole life and are 3 or 4 steps ahead. When your really 10 steps behind and fall on your face while being dragged through the mud to get caught up with everyone else. I have never been normal I am weird and outgoing and proud of that. I never wanted to be perfect....never claimed to be because that's not me. Perfect people don't get remembered. I was built to stand out.

   The silver lining is a very thin line that I walk. I like testing boundaries and limitations. Picking a side...I could never do. I choose to remain peaceful for most part of my life. When I had a choice. But someone else would always pick for me or decide for me without talking to me first. That ruined so much for me; out of my life.

   When I let others butt in or choose for me; I was always put on the sidelines and I just really need to place boundaries and grow a spine. Now that I'm older and pushing back it's gonna upset a lot of people I using my voice. I will no longer remain silent and stand by in my life. If you don't like it leave. I really don't care. I'm tired of putting my dream and goals and the hopes I had in a box in the attic. Only I can free myself from the prison that was fashion just for me....pacifically just for me. The cage I allowed myself to go into I can no longer be in. I found safety in my trauma but I don't want to be stuck anymore I want to live. And by doing what I have always done I will never get a different result. I'm tired of trying masking myself to fit in.

  So go ahead and pick your side then. Because I've been the only one fighting for mine. Others may have helped me alot the way. But I don't see alot of people reaching out to support me. So please quit talking over me...speaking for me. I am an adult I can do shit myself.  I never once asked for your help. I'll never learn if you force it or do it or me. You ruin alot of stuff that way. Let my figure it out I can handle it by myself for myself. Thank you an fuck off.