STRANGERS

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"It's so hard trying to find love when you feel that you are unlovable. Unmoving. Still. Unchanging.
When your ears are too big or your eyes are too far apart. Far to many moles to be Marilyn-esk or a comically wide nose. I'm unlovable bc I'm ugly.

Maybe I'm not ugly and it's just my insecurities showing or I am and nobody wants to be "that person" because it makes you look like a dick for being honest. My mother told me time and time again that I'm beautiful, and for a long time I believed her. But when a kid told me that I looked like a donkeys ass and even the teacher snickered or when I lost my virginity and the boy denied it when it came out at school because he would never "fuck someone like her". Maybe that one is because I went to a predominantly white school and you know how white people are bc you know...? you're white. Where was I? Oh yeah, I'm telling why I'm ugly-the random man on the bus who brushed his arm off after I lightly grazed him on bus.
Maybe it really is all in my mind.
Maybe my mind just thinks up ridiculous things.
Like me growing wings to fly or murdering the president. I should get a dog, but idk. I'm just rambling."

I sat back in the chair looking up with my hands connected across my middle and my legs crossed at the ankles.
I peeked over to see my therapist Julia Wells staring at me incredulously. Pen two seconds from falling from between her fingers and her glasses slipping from her bridge.

"Personally I think you over share with me sometimes Tara... I'm fresh out of school and I don't know how to deal with this. I think it's in your best interest if I refer you to someone with a little more experience"

"Okay."

She scribbled some messy lines on a torn piece of paper before sending me on my way.

Damn. Another therapist? Really?
I'll go get some coffee before i miss my bus.

The sound of traffic and people chattering calms me a little as I realize that this is the second therapist I've had this month.

Maybe I should resort to journaling or something. At least it'll save me money.

"Ouch.." I bumped into a hard surface.

Woah this thing sure does work out. Definitely lift over 200. Maybe 220.

"Are you done feeling me up Ms...?" With a raised eyebrow.

"Wait, give me a second."

I finally look up and woah this guy is pretty as fuck. A natural ginger with freckles everywhere. The most gorgeous green eyes.

 The most gorgeous green eyes

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(Inspo for the eyes)

"huh..?"

"I said give me a second please." Finishing the feel test I just took.

"Okay I'm done." With a small smile on my face.

"Can I get the name of the pretty officer who just frisked me.." He said with one eyebrow raised as I took a step back.

"Tara"

"Connor"
He said in a firm tone with his right hand out.

"Hi Connor" Returning the handshake I couldn't help but stare in awe. I always thought natural gingers were cute.

"Hello Tara"
He nodded a little. firm handshake. Large hands.

"Can we part ways now or do you want to stare for another second too?" He's trying to hold back a smile. Happiness.

"I think I'm good. Have a nice day Connor" I said with a quick swivel of my feet to walk away.
A hand. Big. Calloused. Warm. Grabbed her and spun her around.

"Woah slow down Cinderella. Can i get your number before you go?"

He's waiting for your response you dumb bitch..

SAY SOMETHING!

"Sure."
We trade numbers and go our separate ways.
~~~~~

629 words
(40 minutes)

short stories by a little black womanWhere stories live. Discover now