of other wrongs, sins and songs

fountain

fountain

tonight, i feel all of the nights i've lain awake in the depths of my abysmally trusting heart, i feel all of the whispers of long awaited returns and all of the promises drowning in my veins

i know she will haunt my cells forever and so will he because even with someone next to me in a marital bed, how can i not lie awake for lost loves, how can i not mourn them?

the sound of violins os rising from my bruised ribcage... so to answer your question, i am unwell. tell me whose heart could carry all these deceitful sunrises, sticky sweet afternoon sunburns, fatal sunsets and smile despite it all being in vain?

how can i sleep at night, knowing love as the fountain of my pain, pennies hopeful and pennies dead at the bottom?

how can i sleep at night, knowing i have almost no reason to believe in love?

i can feel her last i love you dropping to the pit of my stomach and now we're everything but happy ever after, she's busy lying tonight, busy not sleeping in my arms, busy breaking my heart, telling herself she's being kind

and how can i sleep tonight, knowing her mind won't go easy on her?