Loose Ends of You and Me | Cosmic Love Series

5 - two old friends

H A R P E R

Freshman Reception Event

Welcome to Columbia University!

Join us at the main campus on August 25th for a day full of activities*, free pizza and loads of fun!

We look forward to meeting you!

Morningside Campus

Broadway and 116th Street

*Activities include: CU trivia game, late night outdoor movie session (bring a blanket!), secret friend scavenger hunt and much, much more!

The freshman reception event is one of the things I was mostly waiting for about starting college. Getting to know the students who were starting now, like me, and the ones that have been here for longer and that could help us, new beginners. Having the last bit of fun before classes actually start, learning more about the university, it was an event I'd always remember and that would serve as a turning point in my life.

But today, as I held onto that white and blue flier while sitting in my unmade bed at my dorm room, at six o'clock in the morning, I was contemplating that train of thought. I was definitely not in the mood to join a massive group of people to play silly games that are supposed to help you fit in but actually don't. For starters, my first night in my new bed for the next four years was anything but nice, with me tossing and turning all night long.

But I did want to meet some people, at least just a couple of students that would attend the same classes as me. Plus I could really use the free food.

That's it - I'm going to go, grab the food and talk to a maximum of two or three people and call it a day.

I placed the piece of paper on top of my bedside table, turned off the light and pulled up the curtains, letting in the early rays of sunrise. And felt massively content with being able to do all those things in the same exact position of my bed, where I've been curled up all night long, taking advantage of the insomnia to finish reading one of the many books I brought with me.

I forced myself out of bed and jumped into the shower. Afterwards, I spent some time in front of the mirror, applying just enough makeup on my face, that it would cover the results of a night spent awake.

Getting dressed today was a challenge to put it lightly, and choosing what to wear felt like an impossible choice. On one hand, all I wanted was to stay in my sweats, but on the other hand, I've always liked to dress nicely, and I did bring enough suitcases that fit my entire wardrobe, so it felt borderline foolish not to wear any of those clothes. Considering all of that, I ended up going with the most comfortable combination of clothes at my disposition - satright, loose jeans and a sweater.

However, as soon as I got to the Morningside Campus, aka the biggest campus of Columbia, I regretted my previous choices instantly. Nobody else was going in alone, like me. It was almost as if Columbia University was like one of those small towns that you read about in books or you see in the movies, where everyone knows each other and they go everywhere in pairs - the bakery, the bookshop, the grocery store. I felt embarrassed to go by myself, humiliated to some extent, and worse than that, being on my own when everyone else was part of a group, or in the very least a duo, made me feel seen, much more seen that the others. I stood out from the crowd, and that was not what I intended to do. All I wanted to do was blend in, get my food, learn a name or two and get the hell out of here.