Everytime he walks into a room by heart beats faster.
This isn't a foreign feeling. I've been on relationships, but, this one feels different. It's not a spur of the moment decision that I know will have a positive outcome.
It's almost scary.
I know him, but it feels like I don't. He's kind, and smart, and funny. I want to be close with him. Not just good friends. More than friends.
But how? I know how guys are, right? Or, I think I so at least. What do I do when I meet someone I don't understand.
I'm afraid.
I'm afraid of rejection and losing potentially the sweetest guy I've ever met.
I am afraid of losing an amazing friend from that.
How do I push these feelings away? They've always just dissipated, dissolved, broken down. Why won't they go away this time?
My best friends tell me to just appreciate the feelings. What does that mean? How do I do that without crying over the fear that it's completely one-sided?
People always tell me the do's and don'ts of crushes, but truly, that doesn't help any. I'm afraid of showing my feelings, so I act different. But at the same time, he makes me feel like myself.
It's so stupid.
We're not even going to the same school. I shouldn't do anything. But at the same time..
I mean, he is cute. He's also really really kind. And smart.
Ugh.
I need to stop getting distracted. I already have too much going on. Why is it so hard to push down my feelings? I'll convince myself for an hour that I don't like him. Then, the next thing I know, I'm swooning over his every move again.
I ask him odd questions that seem to have no consecutive meaning. Really, I just want to get to know him. I think he considers me a friend. I consider him to be my friend.
What do I do?
Please help me.
I'm afraid, okay?
I don't want to ruin this. For me or him.
