Kanao: Dread

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Ohh shit, ohh shit, ohh shit, ohh shit, ohh shit, ohh shit, OHH SHIT!

What have I just done?

He hates me now! He definitely hates me!

I am pacing about in my backyard deliriously, thinking about the words I just told Tanjiro. He definitely hates me now! Is he crying now? Worse, is he mad? Is he furious? Is he never going to visit me anymore? Please, no! I hope not! The thought sinks my heart and sends shivers down my spine.

What if I never get to see him again?

Just having that possibility in my head sends tears welling up in my eyes. Sure, I have had many visitors in my house before- Aoi-san, Nezuko-chan, Zenitsu and Inosuke sometimes. Even Tomioka-san occasionally. But with Tanjiro, it's so much more different. The way he smiles, the way his eyes light up when he sees me, even that small mistaken blush when he showed up today- it sent butterflies in my stomach. I really don't know what sorcery he had used to bewitch me, and I really don't know what illness I have fallen into- but I seem to like falling sick in his presence. I really do not want those feelings disappearing any time soon.

"Kanao-san, what's wrong?" I hear someone's voice behind my back.

"Nezuko-chan!"

"Whoa! Kanao-san, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

I told Nezuko all about what happened in Tanjiro's room- how I yelled at him and poured out literally everything I had kept concealed within myself.

"Before I knew it, I just couldn't stop myself. He really hates me now, doesn't he?"

Nezuko had patiently listened to everything I had to say to her, periodically nodding to show me she hadn't drifted away from my channel of thoughts. After I had posed that question, Nezuko had posed me a question of her own. "Tell me, Kanao-san, have you seen the relationship between Tanjiro and Sanemi-san?"

Sanemi Shinazugawa was the former Wind Pillar, back when we used to be demon slayers. He was a grumpy man- he always seemed angry at the rest of the world. When Tanjiro first approached him for his training, they had a huge fight over how Sanemi treated his little brother, Genya. Tanjiro returned with a broken leg and was prohibited from meeting Sanemi. Yet he persistently insisted on meeting Sanemi until he had somewhat mended the relationship between the brothers.

"Yes," I slowly nodded, "I have."

"And have you seen their relationship now? Sanemi-san occasionally sends letters to Tanjiro after he had learnt to read and write. The two have mended their friendship. And we're talking about the same man who used to hate my brother's guts, who had once stabbed me, knowing that I was Tanjiro's sister, just to prove some faulty theory. Why do you think Tanjiro continuously approached  him nevertheless?"

I did not know where Nezuko was going with this, but I stayed silent.

"Because he's stubborn that way. The moment he sets his mind to something, he will do it no matter what. That was how he managed to form friendships with the most adamant people. That was how he managed to turn me into a demon."

"Unlike you, Sanemi-san was very mean to my brother. He would fight very aggressively with him, and verbally insult him. If Tanjiro managed to reconcile with a man like him, he would definitely come back to you."

"And the answer to your previous question, no. He does not hate you. Absolutely not."

I perked up. "How are you so sure about that?"

"Have you seen the way he looks at you? How his entire being would perk up in happiness when he would come here to see you for his check-up? How much he would stick around with you even if Zenitsu and Inosuke were around?"

I had noticed that oftentimes when Tanjiro would come over. "But isn't that regular Tanjiro?"

Nezuko giggled. "Trust me, I've lived with him for sixteen years. I know that boy like the back of my hand." She turned more serious now. "He likes you, a lot. And don't you ever doubt that."

I calmed down. Those words seemed to heal me, somehow. Before Nezuko got up and prepared to leave, I stopped her.

"Wait! Why did you decide to help me with this?"

Nezuko looked back at me and smiled. "What kind of a friend am I if I don't help you with relationship advice? Besides, it's kind of like pay-back to Tanjiro for giving Zenitsu relationship advice to help him confess to me, so it's a win-win!"

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