Chapter 5

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KEY: Your POV, Gustavo's POV

      I practically ran to the kitchen as Y/N catered to their son. Am I really ready for something like this?  Maybe I'm moving too fast. Max would be upset that I'm moving on. No, I'm not moving on. I'm just... oh god what am I doing?  I'm letting Max down. 

"Are you okay?" Y/N asked softly from behind me.

I jumped a little before turning my head to the side, "Yes, I'm fine."

"You looked... lost in thought. Do you want to talk about anything?"

"No, thank you though, Y/N."

They nodded as I turned my head back to face the cutting board in front of me, "Well, at least let me help make dinner."

         I turned around prepared to deny their offer, though looking into their eyes made me pause. They seemed so hellbent on helping me, hopeful & cheery. I took a deep breath, just say no.

"Sounds great, you can chop the vegetables."

          What is wrong with me? I pulled some vegetables out of the fridge & began washing them (After washing his hands bc he's a neat freak lmao /t) in the sink, Y/N following me around like a lost puppy. After I finished washing everything, Y/N washed their hands thoroughly. 

"Alright," Y/N spoke as he dried his hands, "I'm ready to cut."

"Do you know how to cut vegetables?"

"Sure!"

 Oh no, "Show me."

            Y/N stepped up to the cutting board & rolled up their sleeves before grabbing the knife. He placed his palm on the other on of a carrot & pulled the knife up to the close end.

"Woah, knuckles. You put your hand in a fist when cutting so you don't accidentally cut a finger!"

"What?"

             Is he playing dumb? I walked up behind him, feeling my cheeks warm up as my stomach hit Y/N's back. I wrapped my hand around his right hand, which held the knife, & intertwined my left hand with his. I pulled my hand into a fist & he followed, his hands were a little shakey now. Maybe I just hadn't noticed that before.

"Like this."

I heard him gulp, "Got it."

"Now please, indulge me & show me how you'd cut because this is outrageous already."

             Y/N lifted a still shakey hand up & kind of... sawed at the carrot. What? How can one be so bad at cooking? I immediately tightened my grip on his right hand & lifted the knife back up. I placed the farther end on the board & began chopping at the carrot, making sure to cut semi-thin slices & pushing the carrot along with my left hand.

"There we go, think you can handle that while I prepare the rest of the food?"

"Ye-Yes, of course."

                 Gus let go of my hands & pulled away from me, turning on his heel & walking off to another part of the kitchen. I tried my best to keep up with what he had showed me but my whole body was freaking out from all that he just did. Maybe, maybe I was playing dumb. Not saying I'm a good cook to begin with but hey, I know some things. Oh my god was it worth it. I wasn't really paying attention to what I was doing at this rate, letting my mind wander to more things Gus could do to me. 

"FUCK!"

             My head darted to Y/N as they yelled, I swear my blood went cold & my stomach flipped. He held up his right hand & winced before his eyes went wide & he turned to me head down.

"I'm sorry, Gus," I barely heard him speak as I rushed to his aid.

"Dad, are you okay?" Tommy looked scared.

"Your father is fine, Tommy. Don't worry," I spoke as I grabbed Y/N's wrist, "I have a first aid kit in my bathroom, come with me."

            I went into autopilot, dragging Y/N to the bathroom by the wrist. Their mumbles of my name & pained groans seemed to float passed my mind. I grabbed Y/N's shoulders & made him sit on the toilet seat. I grabbed the first aid kit & rifled with everything until I found a band-aid. I   opened it & wrapped it tightly around Y/N's wound.

"Gus!" Their words finally got through to me.

I looked deep into his eyes, "What?"

"You're hurting me, you ignored me the whole time. Really, what is up with you?"

           I froze, feeling so many memories wash over me. I can't talk about it- him. It's not the right time. I looked down at Y/N, realizing I was standing between their legs, previously staring off into the distance. We were terribly close & I felt my breath hitch.

"I'm here for you."

Don't say it, "Max."

"Who is Max?" Y/N spoke, lightly grabbing my hands.

"The love of my life. He was, he is? I don't know."

"Is he no longer with us?"

I want to curl up in a ball & shrink until I don't exist any longer, "It's been 28 years."

"I'm so sorry."

"28 years I only thought of him. 28 years I swore he'd be disappointed if I so much as looked at someone else. 28 years I let a dead man... rule my life."

"I know it's confusing, you love him. It's okay to find someone else, he knows you still think of him."

I looked down at Y/N, "28 years later & I still love him, but..."

"But... what?"

Hold your fucking tongue, "Nevermind, let's make dinner."

      Good job, me. I walked briskly to the kitchen & took care of the vegetables, no way I am going to let Y/N touch a knife any time soon. After a while of preparing food, listening to classical music & the babbles of Tommy as he played with action heroes & dolls, I placed everything in a pot & turned the dial up. I let out a proud sigh & threw a towel over my shoulder. I looked over to Y/N who was sitting at the dining table reading a book. They looked lost in thought, brows furrowed. Soon enough my timer went off, high-pitched ringing filling the kitchen for a moment. I hit stop & turned to the pot, preparing dishes of food. I sat a bowl in front of Y/N then Tommy, placing the last one in my spot. As I sat down, announcing that the food was ready, I felt my nerves wash away. 28 years later I finally pieced it together. Max would want me to be happy, no matter how I did it. Y/N makes me happy, & I will strive to make them mine.

A/N: Hello, I'm alive. Woah. Sus Fring finally feels better & now it's action time. I was so close to making him say "Not up to Pollos standards" like 50 fucking times but I held back. You're welcome lmao. 

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