His Secret Santa: A Phoenix Club novella

Chapter 7

Holden didn't know how long he'd been sitting idle in the car next to the town park when the Toyota pulled up alongside the sidewalk in front of him. He had known it wouldn't be long before Jamie found him. No way his best friend would leave him to hurt alone. He was good like that. Holden decided at that moment as he watched Jamie climb out of his truck and approach the car—that if Jamie were gay... he could fall in love with him. No one in his life cared for him as much as Jamie. Holden didn't think he could've made it through high school without him.

His vision blurred as fresh tears formed. We should just go, he thought. Just drive away from this fucking town right now and not look back. If he thought for one second that Jamie would agree to it, he wouldn't hesitate to throw it out there this minute. But Jamie wasn't a runner, and he wouldn't allow Holden to run away, either, regardless of how badly he didn't want to be here.

"Hey." Jamie slid into the passenger seat and closed the door. The car idled, blowing out warm air through the vents. Jamie warmed his hands.

"Hey," Holden whispered with a notable rasp. He didn't look at his friend, but rather kept his eyes forward.

Silence settled over the car for a few moments. A comfortable silence. He and Jamie didn't have to talk in times like these. Just being there for each other was enough. But Jamie would speak eventually, because it was his nature to comfort and console his best friend, to make things right for him again.

Holden loved him for it but didn't know if he could help this time.

"Look, Holden..." Jamie spoke in a gentle tone. "I know you probably don't want to hear this right now, but maybe... in the long run... it's good this happened. He showed his true colors. Maybe that'll make it easier for you to let go and move on. You deserve so much better." He squeezed Holden's shoulder. "After what just happened, I'd rather you date the stripper than Lincoln.

The stripper. More than ever, Holden wished to be back in the club... wrapped up in the stripper's arms... smothered in his heat, his scent. To this day, the smell of peppermint brought him to mind... the smell of his breath when they kissed.

If his birthday was come and gone, Holden was sure he would've driven straight into the city and to the club. But his birthday wasn't until the middle of next week. Could he survive the days in between?

"Go back to the club," Jamie urged gently. "If your stripper isn't there anymore, then find a different one to help you flush Lincoln from your system. Just don't let Lincoln live in your head rent-free. Your headspace is too good for him."

Holden sniffed and wiped his eyes. He stared out the side window as more tears took the place of those he wiped away. "The really crazy thing is..." he whispered with a tremor. He looked at Jamie. "I feel like I just got dumped. How pathetic is that? I didn't even fucking know him, but it feels like we just broke up. What the fuck is wrong with me? Seriously."

"Nothing is wrong with you," Jamie said. "You cared about him, and he hurt you. It doesn't matter that you weren't dating. If anyone should feel pathetic, it's him. You did nothing wrong. Caring about someone is never wrong. He should be so lucky to have someone like you care about him." Jamie laid his head on Holden's shoulder. "God knows, I know how lucky I am. If I was gay, I'd be on you like white on rice in a snowstorm."

Holden smiled, despite himself.

Jamie chuckled and straightened as he cupped the back of Holden's head. "I'm taking you back to the club on your birthday. I am confident your stripper will be there and, who knows, maybe you can finish what you started two years ago." He squinted. "Or did you finish it back then? 'Cause, you never really specified."