Candor or Dauntless: Truth or Dare (Watty Awards 2013)

Part 12: Ferris Wheel

It's not Tobias. She's cheating on him. My head's spinning.

I pull the sheet away from his face gently and reveal his dark complexion. Zeke. Tobias's best friend. I slap his face hard.
He wakes and looks at me, "What the hell, Tris!?" He yells at me. Konnor doesn't wake.
"Why are you here? Do you know that Konnor and Four are a thing? Hm?" I ask, anger in my voice.
He shakes his head, "No, no...I didn't. How long?" I raise my eyebrows and exhale.
"Like since the beginning of Initiation. Where's Four?" His face goes white.
"Um...He said something about a wheel..." He trails off.
"Bye, Zeke." I turn to leave, but turn back around. I slap Konnor's face as hard as I can. She screams in pain as I hurry out the door. I head to the Training Room. The smell as fierce as ever. The Initiates and Eric are all there.
"Training's cancelled. Go do something." I mumble and they scatter. I run up the stairs and to the roof. I jump onto a passing train and wait. Did he find out? Is that why he's at the Ferris Wheel? He was betrayed by his best friend. I sigh and pace inside the car. Eventually, I see the Ferris Wheel. I jump off and trip. I land hard on my knee. The pain is tolerable, so I walk to the wheel. Four is standing on the platform, poised to jump.
I yell, louder than I ever thought I could, "FOUR! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" He shakes his head and looks down. I climb the ladder as fast as I can. I reach the platform in record time. I grab his shoulder and turn him around.
"Four--"
He cuts me off, "Why are you calling me 'Four' again? I will always be your Tobias." He says calmly.
I sigh, "Fine, Tobias, what are you doing?" I don't yell.
He rubs his temples, "Getting ready to jump."

Why would he kill himself? I can feel my knee starting to spasm under me. I sit on the platform and pull him down with me. He doesn't resist.
I rub my knee, "Why would you kill yourself?" I ask him.
|He shrugs, "I have no one, Tris. I had you, but then I screwed that up. I had Konnor, but she's a cheap whore. Did you know she's been cheating on me this whole time with Zeke? I knew that kid was no good, just like his brother." I grab his hand in mine. I stroke his hand softly.
"I didn't know. I found out this morning. I'm...sorry." I say, I am apologizing for everything thing in those two words. For me cheating on him, for everything. I reach over and wrap my arms around him. I embrace him and he hugs me back. He pulls my arms back and holds them tightly.

I know exactly how much space there is between us, six inches. He releases one of my arms and holds my cheek. I don't pull away. He leans in and brushes his lips with mine. I want him. I need him. He just barely touches my lips. Why is he teasing me? I grab his face and pull it closer to me. I kiss his lips full force. He doesn't object, instead he snakes his arms around me, I place my fingers in his hair.

I open my eyes and see his deep, dark blue eyes watching me. I feel him smile. He kisses me more deeply. I keep his face trapped against mine. He doesn't resist.
I pull away, "Tobias...I'm sorry for everything. We still can't be together, though. I'm with Alex. If it doesn't work, you'll be the first to know...I promise."
He sighs, "Alright, Tris. Can we kiss again?" He begs and I nod. He grasps my shoulders lightly and pushes me backwards, onto the platform. We lay there, kissing hundreds of feet in the air, for a while.

I pull away, the sun is setting. I start to climb down the ladder. We both make it down safely, I sigh in happiness. Tobias isn't dead. I grab his hand and intertwine my fingers with his. I glance down and smile. We hop onto the train and ride in silence. I let go of his hand and feel the lack of warmth.
I frown, "Tris, I don't know what to do. I just can't do anything right! Everything thing I do, I screw up! I...I...I just can't do it anymore. I love you, Tris. I really do. I hope you and Alex are happy." He rises to his feet, and positions himself to jump into nothingness. I grab his arm and wrench him back into the car. We pass the compound. I sigh.
"Tobias! Why would you do this to me? Don't you understand what this is doing to me? It's tearing me apart!" Warm tears stream down my cheeks, "I can't do this! It's too hard! I don't know what to do! First, you almost kill Alex, then yourself! What's going on with you?!" I yell and sob loudly. He slides over to me and I bury my face in his chest. He rubs my hair gently. I can feel his shirt, damp with my tears, sticking to my face so I pull away from his embrace. I look into his eyes. They are full of confusion, anger, love, and something I don't recognize. His face tightens as he grabs my face again, this time rougher, and kisses me. I enjoy kissing him.
He pulls away, too quickly, "Good or bad?" He asks. I stand and walk to the edge of the car.
I lean out and yell, "I LOVE TOBIAS EATON AND I CAN'T BE WITH HIM BECAUSE OF MY STUPIDITY AND I'M SORRY FOR THAT! WHEN HE KISSES ME IT FEELS GOOD."

I turn back around to him. The corners of his mouth are lifted into a grin, the lines near his eyes standing out. In this moment, he shows nothing of what's happened to him. He reaches for me, but I back away. I promised myself I woudn't do this. I can't do this.
I shake my head vigorously, "I...I can't, Tobias. It's too hard." I look back into his eyes, the hint of a mysterious feeling behind them.
"What?!" I snap. He shakes his head, a smile still peeking on his lips.
"Okay, Tris. It's fine. I understand. Can I ask you something?" He retorts. I nod and he speaks again, "What's wrong with me? I can't do anything right, ever." His breathing hitches, "I screw everything up!" He breaks out into a full on sob.
I walk towards him and wrap him in my arms, "It's okay, Tobias. You aren't a screw-up. You just make bad choices sometimes." I say. He puts his head on my shoulder and into my hair. I stroke his back. He pulls away and rubs his eyes.
"I'm sorry." He says.
I shake my head, "For what? You didn't do anything." I tell him, giving him confidence. He reaches for my hand and I let him take it. Our fingers intertwine. I look at our fingers, his long and soft. I close my eyes and imagine our life. I see Tobias in an all black suit waiting at the end of a carpet of red rose petals. His back is turned to me.

I'm wearing a white dress with a black lace overlay, a white lace head piece on my head. (Dress on side) I'm wearing tall heels. All of Dauntless sits in chairs near the train tracks. I see Uriah with his arm around Marlene, Christina waiting near Tobias, Zeke standing next to Tobias, and Alex. He's sitting in the tracks, crying. A sob gets caught in my throat as I fall into a heap of soft lace. Everything goes black and I hit the train car floor. I feel Tobias's arms wrap around me. I can't open my eyes. I shudder in the darkness.
"Tris! Tris! Wake up! Tris!" I hear him yelling, but I can't will myself to speak. Slowly, I relax every muscle, one by one, until my whole body is shut down. I finally open my eyes and see tears running down Tobias's face. Aside from the tears, his smile shines brightly.
"What happened?" He asks, his voice quivering.
"I don't know. I closed my eyes and day dreamed. Then, when it was over, I couldn't move." I tell him.
He kisses my forehead, "Well, I'm glad you're okay." He says in a matter-of-fact way.

I smile at him and he returns the gesture. My knee is steadily throbbing now.
"Can you...um...Never mind." I say.
He lifts his eyebrows, "What, Tris?" He asks.
"Nothin--"
He cuts me off, "No seriously. What is it? You can ask me anything." He says and I completely believe him.
"Well, when I jumped off the train, I landed hard on my leg." Before I can add anymore, he's already scooped me up in his arms.
I smile, "Thanks." I add timidly and he nods.
"Tobias?" I ask and he looks down at me.
"What, Tris?" He says in a serious 'I-am-Four' tone.
"Do you still love me?" I ask, my voice cracking. The corners of his mouth turn upward and the lines near his eyes stand out.
"Of course I do, Tris. I will always love you." He chuckles softy, his chest shaking me gently.
"I love you too, Tobias." I say before I fade out into sleep.