I Lava You

CHAPTER 07 : ONCE AGAIN, THE BEGINNING

NOTES
This is a long chapter.

CHAPTER 07 : ONCE AGAIN, THE BEGINNING 

When Dokja woke up, he was already in Yoo Jonghyuk's place. He stared at the stars twinkling in the dark sky. 

‘...What happened.’

He ran through his memories to recall the events earlier. It seems his defense mechanism was at work since he briefly couldn't remember his traumatic experience. 

‘Right… I'm with Selena.’

‘Then,  we decided to visit the neighboring village to try their specialties.’

‘After that...’

Tick. 

‘What happened after that?’

Tock. 

[“D-dokja… I'm sorry… I'm sorry.”]

As if the time had paused, Dokja was momentarily stunned. He just remembered… Selena Kim died… She died! 

“NOOOO–!” He unconsciously shouted. Hoping that his cries would be heard and the illusionary Selena Kim standing in front of him would not vanish. Even so, no matter how hard he denied the reality, Selena had already returned to nature. 

Dokja immediately sprung up from the bed Yoo Jonghyuk put him in. He looked around to see Yoo Jonghyuk had noticed him. He ushered towards Dokja and gently touched his body to examine him. He sat beside him. “You're awake. How are you? Are you hurt somewhere?”

He stared at Yoo Jonghyuk for a moment before he shook his head. Tears were threatening to fall. “S-selena...”

Knowing what Dokja was trying to say, Yoo Jonghyuk squeezed Dokja's hand. “I'm sorry.”

Those two words splashed cold water in his heart. He couldn't accept it. How did Selena Kim come to die while Dokja was still alive? They're both on the site of the incident. They're both attacked by the imugi… still… ‘Why am I alive?’

“...I shouldn't be let alive.” He blamed himself again. Yoo Jonghyuk was hurt to see him like this. He thought how Dokja was almost healed from his past wound and was already living happily… only for it to reopen up again. Yoo Jonghyuk was really saddened. 

“No. Dokja-yah, listen to me.” Yoo Jonghyuk soothes and caresses his face. “No one wanted it to happen. It isn't your fault nor Selena Kim. Don't blame yourself, please? Just do it for me… be strong Dokja-yah.”

He watched as Dokja just stared off at the space, seemingly not bothering to listen to him. Yoo Jonghyuk took a deep breath as he closed his eyes for a second before he said again. He couldn't help but be a little angry. 

“What now? Don't tell me you're planning to do suicidal acts again? Is that the only thing in your mind? Can't we think of another solution? What about me? Can you bear to see me mourn and sadden with your thoughts? Do you… Have you ever loved me? How can you easily throw away your life when you have me by your side…?” Yoo Jonghyuk asked in almost a whisper. It really broke his heart on how Dokja could readily think of death in every hard situation. Was that really easy for Dokja to leave Yoo Jonghyuk behind? 

“... Please, just please… even if it's not for me. Don't blame yourself. Do you think Selena Kim will want this? She risked her life to save you, so you must not waste her sacrifice because of self blame… Dokja-yah, I know you can do it.”

Suddenly, a warm yet cold temperature envelops Yoo Jonghyuk's body. Dokja embraced him and pleaded. “I'm sorry...hic… I'm sorry, I won't dare to. Forgive me please.”