Across The Waves (EJ x Ticci Toby Pirate/Siren AU)

Shadow Of A Doubt

I woke up to darkness, meaning it was still in the middle of the night. I slowly began getting up before I started lumbering up top. When I reached the top of the stairs a shadowy figure walked past me briskly, I turned and watched the figure of a man begin going to the helm, where another shadowy figure was standing and steering. I walked past the shadow-person crew and went over to the edge of the ship, I leaned against it as I looked down at the water below, the sea was calm and refreshing now, the breeze was slow and steady, and I felt refreshed.

"Fresh air or what, Jack?" I heard Shasumi ask behind me.

"I thought you'd be asleep by now." I replied.

"Well, there was someone walking on deck that I didn't put there, so I came to investigate." She sat on the railing beside me, "So? What's the verdict, chief?"

"Nah, just awake for the quiet of the night." I said, "Fresh air ain't half bad either, so I guess it's a double win."

"Yeah, I get that." She agreed, "I come out here after dark a lot, too. But that's just because of the moon thing again."

"I get that, I get that." I agreed.

I turned around to face the rest of the ship, watching as the shadow crew was working.

"I'm sure everyone appreciates the fact that you can create so many shadow-people when it's dark enough." I said.

"Slender tells me that all the time." She replied, "He once joked that we should make me captain, but I told him I didn't want his stupid shitty job."

I couldn't help but chuckle slightly. I noticed something sitting up on one of the sail posts and looked up. It looked to be Rachel.

"I see I wasn't the first person to be up in the middle of the night." I commented.

"She never went to sleep last night." Shasumi said, "She's been up there since she put the boys to bed."

I felt a little bad, I glanced at Shasumi.

"Is she lamenting again?" I asked quietly.

"Yeah, she is." She replied, "Poor girl just can't catch a break."

I stood up and began going over to the mast, I climbed up it and sat on the sail post next to her.

"You okay?" I asked.

She stared into the distance for a bit before she lowered her head, then she looked over at me.

"In a cosmic sense, I guess." She replied.

"Is this about what happened? Or is it about the kids again?" I asked.

"A mixture of both." She looked away, "The past haunts me, and I'm reminded of it every day."

I moved a little closer to her and took her hand.

"Yeah, I know, I get it." I assured her, "We're the same age, after all. Seeing kids be abused and trying to live normally afterward is hard for you."

I saw tears beginning to drip from her eyes, I squeezed her hand to support her.

"I just wanted him to love me like he did Sue..." She cried, "I sacrificed everything for her, I saved her! And yet... why didn't he love me for saving her?!"

She started crying heavily as she covered up her face, I squeezed her hand more as she sobbed.

"I just wish I was beautiful enough for him to love me...!" She cried, "I didn't mean for my face to become disfigured! I sacrificed everything for them! I saved her beautiful face and sacrificed my own because I loved them all! So why?! Why was I not worth the time?! Because I wasn't good enough?!"