Survivor's Tears (Levi X OC) ⚠️!TRIGGER WARNING!⚠️

18. Read ahead :D

I AM SO FREAKING SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING I JUST DIDN'T HAVE THE MOTIVATION AND I WAS DYINGGGG!!!! (no not actually hehe) But pls react to the fanfic so at least I know that people are reading it...gives me more motivation...welll yea and sorry for not updating T^T!!!!! 

⚠️TW⚠️ just mentions of suicide...

                                                                                                ∞∞∞

I couldn't sleep at all, I tossed and turned hoping at least one position would suit me. After hours, I finally fell asleep only to be woken up at 2! Fucking 2 by the door bursting open...the culprit being none other than my favourite, Hange Zoe.

"V!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOMAN!!!!!!!!! WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOOK WHAT I FOUND OUT!!!!!!!!!!! BRO!!!!!!!!!!!! COME ON!!!!! I FOUND THE MOST SHOCKING THING EVER!!!!! THE WALLS ARE MADE OF TITANS!!!!!!!!!" I jerked up as soon as the news entered my ears.

"What?" I asked, I had woken up right after the burst of the door but I knew if I was to talk to Hange now, she most likely wouldn't let me go back to sleep.

"Yeah!!!! That's why I wasn't in the meeting!!!! I compared the small rocks that fell from the wall when we...threw Leonhart on the wall...and some off the crystal she was covered in fell too!!! THEY ARE THE SAME!!!!! We need to find the truth of this." She explained.

"We need to see the people from the church of the walls...they should have an answer, though I doubt they'll tell us anything." I got up from the bed even though it was painful and got ready to go to her room to see for myself.

"Don't worry about checking it, I know for sure it's true. I checked it 8 times, it's the same...I just wanted to tell you, now you should just rest." She said and ran out the room to go somewhere else.

I attempted to sleep but the new information kept on spinning in my mind. I got out of my bed, knowing full well I couldn't go back to sleep anymore. I limped out of my room and up the stairs to the terrace.

My shirt shielded me from the cold breeze of autumn. I ran my hand up my arms to warm myself up. As soon as I felt warm I walked forward to the edge of the terrace, sitting while my legs hung from there. I held the edge of the building and closed my eyes enjoying the fresh air after rain. I swung my legs back and forth in a form of stress relief. I moved back a little, securing myself so that I wouldn't fall. I took my hands away and fidgeted with the ribbon tied around my wrist. A small smile adorned my lips as I heard the door to the terrace close, I recognised the foot steps straight away. As an instinct, I stretched my hand out for him to hold. If we were still 15 maybe he would've held it...but I realised it too late...we weren't 15, not anymore. I felt him pass my hand as embarrassment hit me. I didn't look back and awkwardly dropped my hand next to my side and held the edge of the building again.

"What are you doing up this late at night?" His deep voice sounded of sternness. I didn't look his way and answered.

"The same reason you're here...I couldn't sleep. I just love the stars so I came up here...but you're not here for the stars are you?" I asked, finally looking up at him. I finally took notice of the moon shining off his pale skin as his dark hair swayed in the breeze. He looked godly, yet I couldn't stare. He wasn't mine, not to touch, not to stare, not to love. Not until he was aware of my feelings. Not unless he shares those feelings too.

"No, I'm not." He spoke with a stoic tone but his eyes softened, they looked hurt.

"Oh...I guess you could just sit and relax...? For now....we have to go to Stohess today, it'll be tiring." I had wanted to say it but I couldn't get it out, but I didn't want to go without letting it be known...but that would be so cruel. What if I died and told him I loved him? And what if he liked me back but had regret all the while that he couldn't say it earlier. It would only pain him more-