Cat Valentine (Hannah Montana)

Liz, Do You Want to Know a Secret?

Onscreen Cat:

(singing) This is the life, hold on tight. And this is the dream.

Announcer: Fourteen-year-old sensation Cat Valentine continues her smash tour with another sold-out show tomorrow night in Los Angeles.

Onscreen Cat:

(continuing) I'm gonna take my time, yeah. I'm still getting it right.

Cuts to the Grande house, in the living room. Edward and Ariana (dressed as Cat) finish the last line of the song while Garrett works on the dress Cat's wearing. Frankie paces in the background, the phone glued to his ear.

Edward/Cat:

(singing) This is the life.

Edward: Did you hear that? Sold out in Los Angeles. Whoo!

Edward gives Cat a high-five. Garrett, who still has a needle in the dress, gets poked in the process.

Garrett: Ow, ow. Needle in finger. Sharp shooting pain.

Cat: Oh, I'm sorry, Garrett.

Edward walks past them into the kitchen, sits down on a stool.

Garrett: Is okay, I kiss it. (kisses his finger) All better. Alright. Oh, look at you, you look gorgeous. You're gonna look beautiful in your finale. Do it with me, come on now. (Cat follows Garrett's lead) Work it out, work it out, and pop it! (fabric tears) Oh!

Cat: Ooh.

Garrett: Tushy tear. Awkward moment, time to go. Don't look at my booty!

Garrett heads for the door.

Edward: Uh, no danger there, partner.

Garrett: (leaving through the front door) I love you, Cat Valentine!

Cat waves goodbye as Frankie comes up to her.

Frankie: (hand covering the phone receiver) Do you mind? I am on the phone here, all right? I got a life too, you know. And I would appreciate it if I could have one conversation without hearing the words, Cat Valentine. (puts the phone back up to his ear) Yeah, that's right, boy, I know Cat Valentine. And I got two incredible tickets for tomorrow night. Great. Well, see you then. (hangs up, then to Ariana) I need two incredible seats for tomorrow night.

Cat: Sorry, I'm sold out.

Frankie: Dad!

Edward: Hey, think about it this way, Ariana. He goes out with the boy, they fall in love, they get married, he moves out.

Cat: (gives a thumbs up) You've got the tickets. (the phone rings, and she punches the speaker button) Hello?

Liz (v/o): Hey, it's me, landing in 20 seconds!

Cat: Great! Liz alert in 18 seconds! (takes off the Cat wig and tosses it to Edward)

Frankie: (throwing her coat over her) She's your best friend, Ariana. Sooner or later, you're gonna have to tell her you're Cat Valentine.

Ariana: (darting towards the kitchen) I pick later!

Edward: Nine seconds. Get the juice!

Frankie kicks the sewing basket out of the way.

Ariana: (heading for the fridge) Got it!

Edward: Good.
Three....

Frankie: (opening the front door) Two....

Ariana: (closing the fridge) One!

Liz: (zooming in on her skateboard) Guess who just landed two tickets to the hottest concert in town? (stops in front of Ariana) Ariana, you and I, I bring your best friend, are going to see the one, the only, Cat Valentine! Whoo! You're not screaming. Why aren't you screaming?