Ready to Run ( A One Direction fanfic)

Chapter 33

Liam

Sitting on the plane on the way to Australia I was finally able to sort out my jumbled head. In the months since Olivia arrived I've been doing everything I can to tell myself I only saw her as a friend. When things started to go south with Sophia I couldn't help but wonder if maybe there was an attraction there that was pulling me away from my relationship. I believe what Sophia said during our breakup was completely true. Our relationship had been on the rocks for a long time. But until Olivia showed up I was willing to do everything that could be done to salvage it. Sophia saw it as me moving on to something new and shiny but that couldn't be further from the truth. Meeting Olivia and seeing what a warm, compassionate, caring person she is only reminded me of the qualities in Sophia I knew were gone for good. Throughout the course of the relationship she had become cold and selfish. I still can't help but feel guilty that being with me is what drove her to change. I think that's why I stayed with her for so long. Realizing that staying together wasn't helping either of us is what led me to ending the relationship.

I thought that was the end of my confusion and I would be able to just focus on bettering myself and my band and giving the fans the best tour that I can. That was until I saw Olivia at the bar that night. With the help of my newly single status, my best friends picking on me all day for having a crush, and a lot of alcohol I was able to see her clearly for the first time. I was absolutely falling for this girl. Everything about her from her soft brown waves, to her warm hazel eyes, to her perfect porcelain skin had my heart skipping a beat in my chest. She could be in the most expensive party dress or her sweatpants and ratty old t-shirt and I still wouldn't be able to take my eyes off her. The look of concern in her eyes at my drunken state and her warm smile and effortless laugh as she snaked the pool cue from my hands reminded me of the friendship we formed and how she's the person I'm always most excited to spend time with. My epiphany only lasted as long as it took for me to notice Grant, holding tenaciously to her hand as Niall and I enveloped her in a hug. I was too late. I should have broken up with Sophia immediately after Olivia and I kissed. I knew, even then there was something between us. I was just too afraid of change to admit it. Now she is with Grant and there's nothing I can do about it. I tried to be nice to him but as soon as he made the comment about me losing to him and kissing her I knew we could never be anything but enemies. Somehow he knew about my feelings for her and had all intentions of marking his territory that night.

The next morning I felt bad for leaving the party without at least saying bye to her so without a second thought I headed upstairs to her apartment. When I saw her open the door in Grant's shirt I felt about a hundred different things at once. There was a part of me, you can only guess which part, that was turned on by the sight of her. The shirt covered everything that needed to be covered but paired with her tousled hair and sleepy smile it was extremely sexy. Then I realized it was his shirt and was instantly filled with jealousy and an unexplainable twinge of betrayal. Not that her sleeping with him was actual betrayal. She didn't even know I had feelings for her. Hell, I had just found out. I blabbered out the most awkward goodbye imaginable and was still rewarded with the best farewell hug. It was clear I had it bad for this girl.

In the two weeks since we left, I've done everything I can to try to forget about her. The boys have called and face-timed with her a few times but I've been making up excuses to not be there or to leave after only a few minutes. I feel shitty because I told her I'd keep in touch but it's just too hard right now. All I want to do is tell her how I feel but I know all that will do is ruin our friendship. I need to keep my distance until I can get over her. The shows have been great. There is very little I love more than being on stage and performing for our amazing fans. Unfortunately they only last a few hours so I only get a small relief from my self-imposed misery. I went out to some clubs with the lads a few times but I never could enjoy myself. I even tried to be interested in a few of the girls that tried to flirt with me but they all bored me to death with their dyed blonde hair, fake tans, and skimpy dresses. They were all the same.

Boarding the plane after our last show in Australia I'm conflicted about going home for the next two days. I can't help but be excited to see Olivia. It's going to hurt seeing her again knowing that I can't have her but more than anything I miss my friend. Even though it hurts not being able to tell her how I feel, I know it would hurt even more to cut her out of my life completely