🌸 • QinXiao • 🌸

🌸 ~ As I wake up, I fall, break, and die away without trace.

💕 based off the song '我的一個道姑朋友'  (My Taoist Nun Friend) + its translation, very similar to the 'Fate' series but with a different twist + plot 💕

💝 CW: slight suicidal ideation
+ no happy ending

As you held my parasol above our heads, our world and future seemed so certain. Holding me tight, you whispered wishes into my ear, as if telling a mortal woman would make them come true.

Your name felt like honey on the tip of my tongue, I could have repeated it for hours on end.

Lin En (琳_), Jade. A simple, common name. But it was the name of the man I loved.

I muttered it over and over again that day, so much so that you threatened to throw me into the lake. I simply laughed and continued, prompting you to mimic my antics back.

"Yexiao, Yexiao, Yexiao..."

We made countless promises to each other that day, we swore never to part. The tenderness in your eyes, the warmth and endearment shared between us, it was exactly where I wanted us to stay for the rest of our lives.

That moment, like a breeze welcoming spring, melted away the frost and ice.

●∘◦❀◦∘●

The streets of town were bustling, vendors peddling goods and children singing in the square. I insisted we spend time in the market, basking in the onset of spring. But you simply shook your head and pulled me towards the stables.

I'd ridden a horse before, and considered myself proficient enough to travel smoothly. But the feel of your warm chest against my back made me so flustered I could barely hold onto the reins. You chuckled, I think. Maybe you even called me stupid. You hooked your arm around me and held me tight, likely making another one of your cheap quips.

It had started to rain, then. Light as mist, it barely brushed our faces as we rode. In its wake it left the sweet fragrance of blossoming flowers, further solidifying the season's change.

Maybe we should've looked at the sky instead of solely at each other, then we would have noticed the dark looming clouds. But it was too late then, so we sheltered under a nearby pagoda.

I remember laughing about our pitiful situation together, your attempt to distract me from the the sudden lightning strikes.

As you held me close to your chest, I felt I could've drifted off with the wind. Your heartbeat was perplexing, like a sword dance. Extremely strong, but overwhelmingly gentle and graceful.

Despite the roaring winds and thunderous booms surrounding our little sanctuary, I felt as light as a spring breeze, speckled with afterthoughts of snow.

• • •

I guess love letters have always been quite empty, haven't they? We've poured over each and every syllable, hesitating and pondering. What we're left with is barely legible, nothing behind those words but confusion.

We're always willing to humble ourselves for a smile, always willing to demean ourselves to mediocrity all for someone else's sake.

And yet, that day, when you held me under my parasol. I could do nothing but believe, believe in any semblance of a meaning behind those empty, pitiful words.