I Deserve to bleed. (Mikey Rottmnt/Tmnt Angst)

Part 3- Is something wrong, my dear brother?

HAPPY NEW YEARS!!!
As I'm making this chapter it is the first day of 2023, I really hope you have an amazing year :) (now it's the 4th lol)
Ok this chapter took forever and is so long 😭 it's more than 2000 words! Like bro wtf 😳 I might add that I've only seen the first season of rottmnt as the second season is not available ANYWHERE in my country, and I am going of memory for the tmnt12 parts because I haven't watched it in a few years- I don't think anyone is reading this but if you did read this snippet thing then thank you, you may now go onto the actual story!!! Good bye dudes hehehe

The next day
(Mikey POV/third person)
Mikey woke up and went to make breakfast, straight away, as usual. He was afraid they would notice something was wrong with him and he would have to spill it all, and that was something he really, really didn't want.
I have to stay cheerful! Come on just stay happy! happy! happy! He thought to himself
I can't stay fucking happy when everything is shitty. "AGH" I screamed out of anger.
Oh shittttt! No please don't come out, please please I beg of you please say they didn't hear me yelling. Please, no no no no. (A/n as you can tell this bitch be devastated 💀)
"What the hell mikey? I was sleeping! What is wrong with you?" Leo screamed at me, emerging  out of his room tiredly.
"Uhm- I uh- I'm sorry? I didn't mean t-" I swiftly blabbered out without a thought.
"Oh just shut it weirdo! Where is my food? I'm hungryyyy" Raph said drained from training yesterday, leaving his room.
"Oh Uhm yeah- I uhm doing it now, just a second!" Mikey said.

I had made some toast for everyone, but myself. I really didn't have the energy to make anything else, nor did I want to make anything else. I set it all up, even put sensei's tea on the table, hoping someone would thank me. Donnie creeped out of his room,
"Coffeeeeee" his first words of the day.
"Yeah ok here-" I said, giving him his coffee.

I yearned for affection and love, anything at all. I just want a thank you.
"Mikey! Mikey! MIKEY!" I was cut off my train of thought and realised raph was calling me.
"Uhm- oh yeah what- what do you want?" I said.
"What's with the shittier food? I mean- more than usual anyway." He snickered.
"I don' know...just didn't feel like it I guess?" I drainingly said. I went back to my room until it was time for training.

A few hours later (cue the spondgebob narrator)
Third person POV:

The four mutant brothers headed into the dojo. Their training for the day was about to start, "Raphael and Michelangelo, you will fight first. Leonardo and Donatello will fight after you." Splinter said. Oh great the brother who hates me the most! Mikey thought.
Raph looked excited but annoyed, as if he knew he could get an easy win, but as if it was too easy for him.

Mikey knew he had to try his best but he was just....tired, so tired. He just couldn't do it.
"Hajime!" Splinter yelled. Mikey didn't realise what he had called out and raph came rushing towards him. Raph had defeated him within seconds, before Mikey could even process what happened raph yelled "What the hell?! You didn't even try!"
"Oh Uhm- sorry it's just a slow day for me haha" Mikey uttered out.
"My son, are you ok? You barley moved." Sensei said .
"Yeah- yeah I'm fine don't worry!"
"Ok-I was just making sure you are ok.We shall have a break before meditation, head of to your rooms, my sons." Splinter pushed out. The boys went out to their rooms. Mikey grabbed headphones and shot them on, he grabbed a razor blade and left it next to him for a second then he put on a song, he resonated with this song. "I deserve to bleed" as he played the song he took the blade and put it against his skin.

slice....drip
I want to be torn apart excruciating
slice....drip
I punish my body because it's not good enough for me
slice....drip
The scary thoughts are spreading like a weed
slice....drip
The thoughts that say I deserve to bleed
He did this over and over with every lyric. This was his favourite song to distract him from the pain. He didn't deserve life, he believed, he deserves to bleed. While he was doing this in his room, his brothers were in the living room. "Do you guys think something is up with Mikey?" Donatello said.
"Maybe...he seemed sort of off at training he barley moved at all, usually he atleast moves around and does some random moves he came up with." Leo pointed out.
"Whatever he's probably fine! He's always 'a little ball of sunshine'! Right? You can't tell me I'm wrong, that's what makes him so ignorant!" Raph said mockingly.
"I don't know, what if we talk to sensei about it and maybe search his room?" Donnie suggested. "I don't know about searching his room but we should definitely talk to sensei about it. He always knows what's up with everyone. Doesn't he?" Leo says. They all agree but they know if worst come to worst then they will have to invade his privacy.