Chapter 20: Bangtan

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'I bet you taste as sweet as you look, kitten.' The dream version of Kang sneered hands roaming all over her, breath hot on her neck. She wanted to move, to hit him but she was paralyzed. She opened her mouth to scream and as she did, the nightmare broke. She was in her own bed, sweaty and shaking. She heard a rustle in the dark room and tensed. Soon she could make out Yeji and Yuna's concerned faces in the dimly lit room. Feeling like a child but not caring, Eisa reached out to them. Both girls sat on her bed with her, wrapping her up in their arms.

"You're safe. You are home and we are here." Yuna said softly as she ran a comforting hand on Eisa's arm and back.

"I...I need to shower. I need to get him off me." Eisa whispered and Yeji, without a word, helped her up and to the bathroom.

"Will you be okay by yourself?" Yeji said as she turned on the shower. Eisa nodded weakly. "I am going to talk to the boys, they are worried, but Yuna will stay here in your room with you."

"Can you see if Felix or Han can come back up with you?" As Eisa said this, Yeji smiled nodding her head. Before she left the bathroom, Yeji turned around.

"Minho...he's really worried about you. He came to see you while you were sleeping. I have never seen him look so, broken. When you feel up to it, I think he would like to see you. Only when you are ready though." Eisa looked a bit shocked but nodded. Yeji left closing the bathroom door behind her.

Eisa stripped off her PJs, wincing slightly as the cloth brushed the bump on her head and her bruised face. Once the clothes were removed, she stared in the mirror, which had not been disrupted by the steam from the shower yet. The cheekbone and eye on the left side of her face were bruised, a cut on her bottom lip hurt and as she turned to check her back she saw another bruise that must have been from when her body and head hit the lounge wall. She shivered as she stared at a broken, terrified version of herself. As the steam obscured her view, she shook herself and moved into the shower.

The water was warm, but she needed it to be hotter. She moved the shower dial to the hot setting hissing slightly as the water hit her skin. She picked up the body wash and a loofah, furiously scrubbing her body. She scrubbed her leg, the one he had touched, and her neck where his lips, his tongue had touched her so hard that it felt raw. She spent much longer in the shower than she normally would have. She let the hot water fall over, hoping to burn away the feeling of him touching her. She had seen situations of sexual assault when she was in the ER, broken battered women with haunted looks in their eyes. She always thought she was strong enough to not become one of them. She didn't blame Chan or SKZ. She didn't blame anyone but herself and that devil, Kang. She should have been stronger. She should have used the drugs Seungmin gave her for this type of situation. She could have spiked his drink and he would have passed out as they entered the lounge. She was careless. Stepping out of the shower and wrapping a large towel around her, she resolved to bury her pain. She would not worry about her new family. They were all strong and she resolved to be strong as well. Was this a smart thing to do? No. She knew this would catch up with her if she buried it but she hated how weak it made her feel.

Taking a deep breath, she exited the bathroom only to be greeted by a very worried-looking Yuna. Yuna opened her mouth to speak but then closed it, seeming to struggle for the right thing to say. Eisa gave her a small smile before throwing on some shorts and an oversized hoodie.

"I'm okay. Last night was a lot but I'm okay." She looked at Yuna who moved toward her, wrapping her arms around her shoulders.

"We were so scared when we couldn't find you." Yuna pulled away looking at Eisa's face, searching it. Eisa could tell she was assessing how she was feeling so she tried her best to slip on a mask. A mask that would make everyone believe she was alright. "They are going to want to know what happened. I can tell Chan you aren't ready though if you need more time. " Eisa shook her head at this.

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