fresh air | pulisic

02.

Turns out the stranger is staying in the same apartment block as Christian.

After finally having enough of the fresh air, Christian heads back only to see her at the front door talking animatedly to the security guard on the door. He watches them for a moment, noticing her long hair and her bright smile and that she has a laugh that's a little husky, even though her normal talking voice is higher and smoother.

She's holding a camera and Christian idly wonders what kind of pictures she's taken, or what kind of story she has to tell. He doesn't let himself wonder any more than he needs to because really, it's none of his business. Instead he turns to wander down a different side street, missing the way the girl looks at him with curiosity as he watches him disappear around the corner.

He's back at the park again the next day, this time in the late afternoon. The wind isn't as rough as it was the previous morning, the gentle breeze caressing his cheek as the smell of grass hangs in the air. He can hear children laughing as they play in the sandpit, screaming and laughing as they chase each other. He can hear people around him enjoying the scenery, exercising or the sounds of people gossiping with their peers.
Everyone sounded so free here, but why wasn't he?

Opening his eyes slowly, he chews on his bottom lip while sighing through his nose. He still doesn't know if coming to England would help him solve any of his problems. Probably not.

From the corner of his eye he sees someone hopping in the wet sand, getting closer in his direction. His curiosity piqued, he turns to look properly, blinking while watching a familiar face leave deep footprints in the sand.

"What are you doing?" Christian asks before he can stop himself.

The stranger looks up at him with an almost childish grin, straightening up to retrace her steps while recording them with her camcorder. Christian tilts his head, his hands deep in his pockets as he watches the stranger do her thing. He's not quite sure why anyone would want to record something like footprints in the sand, but maybe she had a project she was working on, or had something else she wanted to do that Christian didn't understand.

He almost gives up on an answer after a minute or two without a response, about to turn back to face the river again when he sees the stranger jumps back with a slight yell, laughing sheepishly when her eyes meet Christian's. "Phew, that was close. I almost dropped the camcorder– now that would have been a disaster." Christian only raises his brows in response.

"Nia," the stranger introduces after she's sorted himself out, giving Christian a bright smile. "Christian, right?"

"How do you know my name?" Christian asks, trying to keep his expression neutral. He fails, his brows pulling together in a soft frown, but Nia doesn't seem deterred. Instead she plays around with the camcorder and then folds the screen in, putting it back into her pocket.

"Security seems to be a little worried about you. He says you're great, very polite, but you always look like you have a really heavy burden on your shoulders. Also, you're kind of a big deal around here,"

Christian hums, turning back towards the ocean. He ignores the last words that come out of her mouth and focuses on the rest. Is he that obvious? Did he really look that stressed? He sighs, tilting his head back to look up at the blue sky that's starting to blend with different shades of oranges and pinks as the sun begins to set. He tries not to think about anything, tries to ignore the nagging thought that he's being stupid for being here, for running away; trying to focus on the scene in front of him and on his breathing. His hands ball into fists in his pockets and then he's digging his fingers into the palms of his hands, chewing on the inside of his cheek.

I'ms okay. It's okay. I'm okay.

But there's still so much to do–

The telltale sound of a camera shutter jolts him out of his thoughts and when he turns his head to face Nia again, the girl only takes another photo. "Sorry," Nia offers, letting her camera hang around her neck again. "You looked like a really good photo op just then."

The comment makes Christian smile a little, lowering his head to watch the waves lap at the shore in front of them. He's almost jealous. even Nia sounded so carefree here. "That's okay." he says quietly, so quiet that Nia almost missed it with the sudden gust of wind that comes.

Maybe he should have just stayed in America, heck even Germany. At least if he were still in one of the two, he could be around people he loved, people he knew, he could feel some familiarity. A cold chill runs down his spine when he realises: he starts training in a week.

Pressing his lips together in an attempt to suppress the shudder that comes with the sudden cold, Nia moves to stand closer to Christian so she doesn't have to yell. "If it's okay with you, do you want to have dinner together? You don't need to talk, but maybe some company might help."

It takes a moment, but the words eventually connect with Christian and he blinks slowly. For the last few days, he'd been touring London alone with his thoughts and had come up with no answers to any of the questions and problems he had. He's only been thinking, thinking, thinking and thinking while trying to keep his head above the water, while trying to keep his heart from sinking every other moment and maybe that was his problem.

Ben had always told him he thought too much.

And this time Christian swallows, forcing the lump in his throat back down, nodding as an afterthought. "Yeah, that sounds good, actually. Some company would be really nice."

Maybe a distraction is just what he needs.