All the Aches in the World

Chapter 12 : What's Unsaid

Hunter felt like he was hit by a train. Multiple times. Run over and over and over again. He hadn't even bothered to check if he also looked like he just went through hell and back. But he knew he must have. He could practically feel the wrinkles in this shirt against his chest, the pockets of air where it was supposed to remain tight against him were now baggy and threatened to tear. His hair was twisted this way and that, pulled however he could find a way to pull it. And he wouldn't be surprised if he had new bald spots.

He deserved it all. That much he knew clearly. He could have done so many things differently, but he didn't. And now people were going to suffer because of him. He squeezed his eyes shut. Then slammed his palms against the steering wheel repeatedly, letting out a broken scream into the half empty parking garage. Breath coming out in heavy pants, Hunter finally leaned his forehead against the wheel, and let his eyes relax.

"What are you doing?"

Amelia was, unsurprisingly, already at Hunter's office before he was. He was incredibly late for his meeting with his advisors, and now he had just another barrier in his way. He didn't bother stifling his groan as he threw his bag onto his desk, shucking his coat off and draping it over the back of his chair. He wasn't prepared for this at all, not mentally or verbally. There was a plan, he was supposed to meet her for lunch and discuss everything. She wasn't supposed to jump him in his own office. He raised a hand and rubbed at his temples.

"Hello?" Amelia called, voice growing louder. "Are you even listening to me? Or are you just going to keep acting like I don't exist?"

Hunter shook his head. "No, you know that's not–"

"Then what is this about you being engaged to Elliot Charles!"

There it was. The voice that grated against Hunter's very soul, talons drawn and a menacing stare followed. He let out another sigh, trying to tame the voice in his own body that wanted to rise to the challenge Amelia was presenting for him.

"You're my boyfriend, Hunter! MINE!" She was yelling now, stomping her red heeled foot against the floor. Hunter gripped the back of his chair, head hanging. He counted his breaths, holding with a desperate grip on his tether to his sanity. He had the split second idea of telling her the truth, the one that only he knew, and nobody else. The one where he was–

Hunter wrenched himself away from his desk and stalked across the room. "I'm late for my meeting. Leave. We'll discuss this later."

Amelia guffawed behind him. He didn't bother turning. "If you leave this room right now, we are done!"

And he knew at that moment, no matter what was going to happen, no matter what was between them, or that they were dating just days before...Amelia didn't care enough about him to fight for him. This time, he turned with that new realization. He always knew their relationship was strained, just something to flaunt for the cameras if anything. But he always thought he could be loved by someone. Or at least, he hoped he could be. He hoped he could have taken care of someone the way they deserved, completely and utterly devoted. And he failed her.

But that look on her face, the fury. It wasn't his betrayal, or the news he was engaged to someone else. It was a challenge. One Hunter knew he didn't want to take.

"We're already done, Mia. I'm sorry I couldn't be what you wanted."

He didn't bother closing the door behind him. Didn't bother stopping her when he heard the first crash of glass against the ground. He didn't even turn when she started screaming and trashing his entire office. Hunter just got into the elevator and rode it in silence, eyes watching his feet against the floor, as if he was so far away, so lost. He barely recognized his own feelings, and yet, they were what stared back at him in the mirror every day.