abandoned battlefields - valeriaverse book 2

chapter 6

''you can stay here for now, ma'am. let me know if any of you need anything.'' Lilith smiled as the sniffling woman opened the door to the small house. it had most likely belonged to one of the people who fell victim to the poison, judging by her reaction. ''thank you. we'll be gone by morning, i promise. we're sorry to barge in like this.'' ''oh no, don't worry about that. your kind has done everything to try and help us here, so we're glad to return the favor. besides, you saved us all before. i think that deserved our help already, let alone the fact you're trying to do it again.'' ''it really hasn't hurt any of them, has it? not one fairyborn.'' ''not as far as i know. everyone we've lost here was human. please, stop this before we lose even more people. if not to the poison then it'll be from pure dehydration and starvation. we can't live without the river.'' Lilith placed her hands on the woman's shoulder and looked her in the eyes as they glistened with upwelling tears. ''i will do everything in my power to stop this, i promise. we didn't win the war to be defeated from the inside.'' the woman nodded and walked off, closing the door behind herself.

Jorbo had gotten the fireplace going when Lilith entered the room, and Ryo was scouting out the small home. ''there's 2 bedrooms. seems like one belonged to an adult man, the other to a young girl.'' Lilith sighed. ''they were alone already, and then they both fall victim to something as stupid as this? what is wrong with this world? god. why do we insist on hurting each other, taking loved ones and keeping people away from each other?!'' for a second, she just lost it. she had no idea why she was waving her arms or where to move them, but pure frustration took over. she sharply inhaled before mumbling something about food and leaving, letting the front door smack into its frame with a loud bang.

''is she always like this? should we go after her?'' jorbo rolled his eyes and jumped up onto one of the wooden chairs at the table. ''she needs to deal with it herself. usually she comes back after an hour or so, once she's cooled down.'' Ryo looked at him puzzled, but decided the goblin probably knew better.
''let me tell you something about her. you know about her role in stopping the war, so i take it you know about Rayne and Maeve too, right?'' Ryo nodded and sat down across from the goblin. ''they were good friends, then the queen joined their crew for everything that happened. the old commander was there, but he didn't make it out.''
 ''almost. Rayne and Lilith were more than friends. always have been. if you ask Rayne, she'd say they were like family. but if you ask Lilith... she was in love with her.''
 ''as in, dating? wow- i had no idea!'' Jorbo grunted at him to be quiet and just listen. 

''right before they fought the dark emperor and the witch at his side, Lilith told her. then after, when both of them miraculously survived, Rayne was deeply confused about her feelings and Lilith's. she left to find her people, and figure out who she is. while that was the best decision for her, it left Lilith alone, with a gaping hole in her heart and her life. she feels like Rayne chose her destiny over her, even though she will never admit that. i live in her old house at the edge of the swamp, but sometimes i stay over for projects or research. i hear her cry in her sleep. she'd kill me if she knew i told anyone this, but it's something you need to know about her if you want to understand who she is and why she acts this way.'' the silence was tangible as Ryo listened to his every word. 

''Rayne went with Aaron, a member of the papillio. she's one too, but she only learned that when she met him. to her it wasn't destiny or love, it was past or future. and when it came to it, Lilith told her to go. she doesn't live that far from here, maybe a week or so of travel. but the distance was never the point. the reason Lilith won't visit is because she's convinced herself Rayne has built a better life there, with Aaron. because if she builds a life with Aaron, she'd spare herself the judgement and hate they'd get for being unconventional, something new.  but being separated from her has only made the desire to love her so much bigger. she's really on edge now because the more this leads towards Rayne, the more she fears Rayne might be mad when she sees her, because she's the storm cloud over her new happy life.''

''so she misses what they had, fears what might be, and that's why she's mad at the world for taking the happiness of others who have been hurt by the killing spree, correct?'' ''perfectly.''
''then you're completely wrong in thinking she needs to deal with this on her own.'' Ryo stood up and barged out of the house, towards the spot they had arrived at. from what he knew of her, Lilith would find her peace in solitude. in this case, she'd most likely go to the forest. 

if there was one thing Ryo learned from the years on his own, it was tracking. people, or animals, or that one time he tried to find his dad, they all taught him a specific set of skills. it had become a hobby of him to decipher the directions of trails, footsteps and different clues left behind by whoever he sought, or followed. it didn't take that long for him to find her trail, leading into the trees. it kept going and going, past the trees and the entire forest. to his surprise, Ryo found Lilith at the edge of the river, several miles out of the woods. she was sat down next to her open purse and a rack of glass vials, each filled with water and something that coloured them. he watched as Lilith murmured something and one by one, the vials turned black. but not for long. they slowly dissolved and lost their opacity, turning back to regular, clear water. 

''it's really hard to find out what it is if it just disappears every time you try to look at it.'' Lilith looked up at him with a hint of despair in her eyes. ''how am i supposed to help them if i can't even find out what it is? that was never my thing, not back then and not now.'' ''but it is.'' Ryo sat down next to her. 
''look, we may have just met, but i know a lot about you. not in a creepy way! just in an interested in your magic way.'' he chuckled, the sighed. ''you feel as though you're not fit to help these people because you miss a part of yourself. Rayne was the counterpart to your magic, and you grew up relying on her. being apart means neither of you know how to use your magic, because even your magic misses each other. someone important to me once told me that you can't start healing if you're still pretending not to be hurt.'' Ryo smiled at her. ''you are stronger than you think, and from what i recall, were you always the one to start unraveling the mystery. when it comes to the brains, that's you. Queen Maeve is the heart, controlled by feelings, Rayne is the soul, harnessed in a full body connection with her powers, and you are the brain. you make the plans, take everyone's input, see everyone's potential and create a way for everyone to reach it. you have always been the core to the story. and trust me, i know how hard it is to not understand who you are or who you want or need to be, but you have to keep fighting to be that person. because only she can stop this.'' 

Lilith wiped away a small tear from her eye and chuckled. ''how old are you again, with all this wisdom?'' Ryo returned the laughter before he answered. ''i'm sixteen. but like you, i've learned my lessons through suffering. and i'm happy i get to share that wisdom. i don't talk to the person who told me that anymore, but she will always be a tiny voice in my head. i know she never meant to hurt me, only to protect, but she didn't have the wisdom to know how to tell me that without ruining our connection.'' Ryo got up and wiped his muddy hands on his dark green trousers, hardly caring about the mess on them. ''anyway, i'm going back. i'll take care of food for me and the, eh, whatever your assistant is. good luck on your tests.'' he wanted to say something more, something to help her, but it was best to just leave her alone. she needed the time by herself before continuing on the trip they had to make, every step bringing her closer to the thing she feared most. Ryo turned on his heel and headed back, leaving Lilith with the rushing sound of the wind, the river, and the slowly falling snowflakes around her.