i wish you were dead
because then
the screaming
and crying
and missing you
it would all make sense.
the looking at old photos
and videos
and hearing your voice
it wouldn't hurt as much as it does now
because you aren't dead.
no where near it.
you just don't want anything to do with me
and i get it, there's always prices to pay
when you choose to live over wanting to die
when you choose peace over war
and when you choose happiness over forlornness
but i didn't know the price was that big
and sometimes i wish i was dead,
because then she wouldn't suffer as i do,
missing you.
