i took the gun out of your hand
i stood in between you and the wall
i held you on the floor of a house
that was 100 degrees hot
i poured water on you
and still i moved in with you
after you spent eight hours
traumatising me
you started to hate me
when everything caught up
and i almost killed myself
because of the pain you inflicted
you kicked me out
and thirty three days later
when i realised you actually hated me
i googled how much alcohol would kill me
and i drank that amount
within 45 minutes
i took a bottle of pills that night too
i should've died
but i woke up the next morning
and wished that my life would've ended
because the first man i ever loved
broke me more than anyone ever could
i grieve you even though you're alive
and i have a hole the size of you in my heart
that will never be replaced
because i was supposed to be your little sister
you were supposed to protect me
but all you did was hurt me.
