Waste Of Time (Seongjoong)

~6~

*smut*

|~|
I woke next to Hongjoong, his body facing mine.

And here was the answer to my question. What he'd look like with his pretty eyes closed and his whole body relaxed. And it couldn't be prettier.

His lips slightly parted and set into a small pout, his eyes closed, and his long eyelashes more visible against his pale skin.

He was so pretty.
Gorgeous, actually.

I had a strong urge to press kisses all over his soft skin, wake him gently. But possibly that would feel too domestic. He's a one night stand. A hookup. Nothing more.

I wanted his friendship, but he wasn't interested in that. I was almost positive. I wasn't wanted for my personality or love, but for my body, and what I could do for his.

Did I care?
Not at all, actually.

I was able to spend time with someone who seemed to want to spend time with me. Even if all he wanted was sex, or I suppose something close to sex. That didn't matter. I was still wanted.

I felt his body move beside mine, I turned my gaze back twords him, his eyes were still closed, but I figured he was awake.
"G'morning,"
He said groggily. His voice raspy and thick with sleep.
"Good morning."
I replied.

He flipped the blankets off of himself, I had nearly forgotten I'd lended him my clothing. He looked adorable in them. I could imagine waking up to this every morning. I would never get bored of seeing the thin boy in an oversized hoodie, my oversized hoodie, and sweatpants. He looked so simple, yet so intoxicatingly attractive.

I expected him to stand up, walk out of the room, or at least walk around the room. But instead he rolled into me. Nuzzling his nose against my neck, and draping his leg over my body to rest his thigh on my stomach. He was impossibly close. Every piece of his body was flush against mine.

"I slept well,"
He mumbled against the side of my neck.
"Really well, actually."
He strained the word 'really', being sure to get his point across.

I didn't have a way to answer him. What was I supposed to say to that?

But I didn't need to answer, Hongjoong easily filled the silence.
"I never stay over at anyone's house,"
He muttered, moving his face to brush over the skin of my neck.
"You're special."
I could feel his lips curl into a smile. I nearly choked on my own spit.

"You seem so sweet, Seonghwa, you know that?"
Again, I was left speechless. I felt as if I had never interacted with him.
"Mmh~ what happened to all that confidence from last night?"
He whispered moving his head to my ear, his voice still wrapped in sleepiness. I felt his teeth nip at the shell of my ear.
"How about that next time? It's been awhile."
He lightly laughed pressing his face back against my neck.

He moved his leg some to rest on my now obvious boner.
"You didn't change your clothes to sleep?"
He question, rubbing his leg against the denim of my pants.
"Why?"

"You fell asleep on top of me."
My voice was unstable, my already heavy breathing cut off each of my words.
"I'm sorry,"
He placed a light kiss on my neck.
"Can I make it up to you?"
Another kiss.

He pulled himself up on top of me, straddling my hips, he rested his hands next to my head, leaning his face closer to mine.

"Do you want me to do anything else?"
He asked. The consent questions brought me comfort, I felt safe.
"You can do what you did last night... Against my thigh"
I suggested my cheeks burning, he sat up, putting more pressure against my crotch, gently shaking his head.
"That's not too fair, is it now?"
He tsked.
"I want to make you feel good too."
He lightly shifted his hips against me, almost as if testing my reactions, immediately smiling at my small noises of pleasure.
"Mmh~ see, that's better."
He smiled, bending over me again to place a kiss against my lips grinding down against me harder this time.

He continued with his movements, moving hard and fast. I was careful to keep my mouth shut, fearing that I would be too loud and agitate him, I kept my eyes squeezed shut, enjoying the pleasure the pretty boy was giving me.

Hongjoong's hips slowed as he leaned backwards, his fingertips brushing against my chest.
”Are you uncomfortable?"
He cocked his head to the side. His hips coming to a full stop and lifting himself up slightly, but not moving away. I shook my head at him.
"Make noises for me, Seonghwa. I want to know what you're enjoying."
He requested, placing his palms on my ribcage, resuming his rocking.

Small sighs and whines slipped past his lips with every one of his movements. I kept myself quiet, but not silent, just as he had asked.

"Ah~ fuck, I'm so close."
I watched his body tense over mine, shaking slightly, his eyes shut tight as he clutched onto my sweater. The scene was more then enough for me to reach my high following quickly after him. He let his arms drop his upper body onto my chest, both our breathing heavy and labored.

"Next time,"
He took a moment to catch his breath a bit more before finishing.
"I want you to louder."
I nodded my head, brushing a hand through his slightly bleach damaged hair.
"Next time, huh?"

"I would agree to a 'next time' any time you want."
He laughed. His laugh was so sweet sounding. I would never get tired of listening to it.
"I think I agree with you on that."
I replied.

We laid in bed, enjoying the heat from one another.
"Are you hungry?"
I asked, stroking my hand up and down his spine, liking the small shivers his gave every time I ran my nails up and down.
He hummed.
"I need to leave."

"Why's that?"

"I'm spending too much time with a one night stand."
He nuzzled his face further into my neck.
"It's now one night and one morning, actually."
I laughed.
"True. It could also be one afternoon and one evening too."

I understood what he wanted. He wanted pleasure. He wanted to use me for my body.

I knew that.

And yet, I was letting it happen. I always did. And eventually, I catch feelings and again I keep them to myself. Too undeserving of love to ever want to tell someone how I saw them.

I don't mind being simply a sex toy. I felt loved without actually being loved. I enjoyed intimacy, with anyone. Love wasn't nescassary.

"You can leave whenever you'd like to. Not when you think you have to."
I said, stroking his hair again. He hummed.
"Thank you, Seonghwa."
I felt his body relax even more. Practically melting into me.
"I feel so comfortable."
He quietly said.
"I'm glad I'm working as a nice pillow."
I laughed.
"Nuh-uh,"
He shook his head a bit.
"I feel like, comfortable. Like really safe."
I felt him place a feather light kiss against my neck.
"I like it."
Hongjoong finished.
"Well, I'm glad."
I responded after a moment of silence.

Minutes passed before he spoke again.
"Seonghwa,"
He pushed himself up away from me to make eye contact.
"Why are you being so kind to me?"
He asked
"Why not, should I be mean?"
I laughed.
"No, no. But, you barely know me."
He said sitting himself up all the way against my groin.
"I don't need to know you to be be kind to you."
I smiled at him.
"Do you..."
He paused.
"Do want to know me?"