Depressed state of mind part 3; Studio Apartment at 24...The Footnotes of love.

Studio Apartment at 24...The Footnotes of love.

24.....

Written by George Ryan.

Reeling from past loves,

Dealing in the feelings of use and lack of communication.

It's hard when the healing only comes in waves of understand

that I can't seem to find.

I wish that I could say that I have healed but in reality I have only grown...

Grown in myself but also in the pain and in the loss.

I haven't found anyone or anything to replace it unless you count

this waves of peace behind this apartment doors.

And this walls that heal my never ended anxiety with their writing

on the walls,

Like a type writer point of view mindset that eases the

ache from this manic world.

I have pulled my soul back to the point where I need sleeping pills

just to help me sleep,

From my phantom scars that still ache every time that I try and lay down.

And I stay lonely because every time that I even try to go downtown,

It's your soulful smile and eyes that still feel like home

that I always end up looking for.

So it's harder to find somebody to love when in my heart and mind

they will always only ever be second best.

I live with a caged heart but an open mind in a manic world

that finds love quicker

than before the movie is even over.

Never even giving me a chance.

Always left alone to sweat this toxins out behind closed windows,

And left to write sad lyrics at the end of the day just to help

me feel something other than false hope to keep love

alive in the back of my mind.

I don't know if love will ever come back to me?

But I do know that behind this apartment walls,

I can finally breath fresh non toxic air,

And can finally deal with the pain and this scars in a healthy way.

I do know that it's getting harder to grow my tree of life

without love.

So I am open minded to signs of love and signs of paths