| Schlattbur Oneshots |

c'mon

"schlaaaatt."

no response.

"schlAAAAaAAaaAtt."

"..what?"

schlatt gave wilbur a glare. he was annoying him like crazy. "can we do the thing now?", wilbur questioned for the 87th time (yes, schlatt had been counting).

schlatt groaned and rolled his eyes. "for the last time wilbur, i don't want to right now!"

"you never want to", wilbur pouted. schlatt felt no remorse, just gave him a look of equal frustration and anger. wilbur had been persistent all day about letting him.. well, you know.. to schlatt. but schlatt just didn't feel like it.

and he knew wilbur would never do anything to him without his permission. so that only left wilbur to plead and try to reason with him. so far, all it did was make schlatt consider putting in ear plugs.

wilbur frowned at schlatt's silence and shook him. when schlatt didn't react wilbur shook him again, harder.

"gah, wil! stop! go find someone else to pester!", schlatt snapped, switching his look to one of exasperation.

"whaaat? i'm not doing anything wrong!"

"well for one, you're being a big idiot," schlatt retorted.

wilbur opened his mouth to say something but then smirked, his mouth forming a new sentence.

"you know what else is big?"

"uh, i don't know, your ego?"

"..."

"..."

"...you suck."

"..thanks."

wilbur pushed away from schlatt and got up slowly, putting on a miserable face. "i guess i'll just have to go find something else to purge my boredom with", he dragged out, throwing back his head and batting his eyes dramatically.

schlatt just stared at him in silence with a look that said "i am so done with you."

wilbur closed his eyes, a look of utter dismay still on his face. as he held his pose for a few more moments, his eyes flew open and darted over to schlatt. "aren't you gonna say anything?"

"nope. i'll just watch you be an idiot, it's very entertaining", schlatt said.

now it was wilbur's turn to roll his eyes. he broke position and sat back down very close to schlatt, putting an arm around him and pulling him up against his side.

"c'mon, love. just for a little bit. i'm sure you'll really like it, you always do!"

"if i'm in the mood, then yeah, wil, i do. but not today."

"what about tomorrow..?", wilbur gingerly questioned, as if testing ice on a frozen lake.

schlatt sighed. perhaps this would shut him up. "maybe", is all he replied with.

wilbur instantly perked up, but then slumped back down. "SO WHATS THE BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN TODAY AND TOMORROW?!?", he cried out.

"it gives me 24 more hours to think about it", schlatt mumbled.

"... so you really don't want to do it today?", wilbur hesitated before asking once again.

schlatt, unlike the former, did not hesitate in his answer. "nope."

wilbur let out one of the most dramatic groans schlatt had ever heard and slowly got up again. he even thought wilbur might put on another drama filled show.

but he didn't. he just stretched and then resumed a slumped position, slowly ambling away from the couch and to their shared bedroom.

"fine!", he called over his shoulder. "guess i'll just go look at some nice pictures of you and wank off by myself."

schlatt, for probably the 89th time by now, rolled his eyes, letting out a little laugh. he picked up his phone and started scrolling.

a few minutes later, a song was heard blaring from the room, the lyrics undistinguishable.

schlatt got up and pressed his ear to the door. it sounded like.. weezer?

the volume suddenly got turned up two notches and the verse was very clearly heard, even on the other side of the door.

"i just made love with your sweet memory
a million times in my head,"

it was turned back down and schlatt couldn't help it. he let out a laugh, shook his head, and returned to his original spot.

'who is this man i decided to start dating?'

haha other than this it was 666 words

[676 words]