swerving through the lane, and throwin bananas to whoever is behind me.
After power drifting a sharp corner, i bumped into the border and tried to wiggle away from the wall.
1st place.
1st place and i was nearing the checkered flags, dodging bananas and green sheels along the way.
After narrowely dodging a blue shell with a boombox, i come skidding into the finish line.
Jumping up onto my feet and tgrowing my srms up in glee, whilst happily squealing.
"YES, YES OH MY FUCKKING GOD, I FUCKING WON, 200CC IS HARD MY AS-"
Out of nowhere, princess peach comes flying overhead of me, only making first place by a millimeter.
My face dropped of any joy.
My arms lower slowly and my face still blank, flipping the small table infront of me without a care in the world.
"ARE YOU *intense pressure*fu-CKING KIDDING ME!!?
THIS IS WHORE-SLUT TOOK MY FIRST PLACE AND EVEN IF I WIN THE REST OF THE RACES I WONT GET THREE STARS.
THIS FUCKING LIZARD SCREWING BITCH IS GONNA BE SO FUCKING FAT WHEN SHE'S PREGNANT WITH LUIGIS KIDS, OR BALZA'S BECAUSE SHESS A FUCKING SKANK.
BUT NOT ME, IM FUCKING ITALIAN, NO MATTER HOW MUCH I EAT ILL BE SKINNY MOTHRRFUCKER, AND THATS NOT REINFORCING RACIST STERETYPES NO, BECAUSE WE EAT SO MUCH OUR BODIES ARE USE TO IT. BIOLOGY BITCH.
SO WHILE YOU GET FAT AFTER HAVING SIXTEEN KIDS, IM GIONNA BE LAUGHING MY ASS OFF BECAUSE I WAS THE ONE WHO STBBED THE HOLES IN THOSE CONDOMS.
ALL THIS SHIT COULD HAVE BEEN AVOIDED IF YOU DIDNT STEALL MY HARD EARBNED FIRST PLACE THE LAST POSSINBLE SECOND. AN-"
Different person: i really need to cancel those improv classes of his.
Different person 2: i knew it was a bad idea to get him the new mario kart *sigh*. Shit were not gonna get that securiy deposit back, are we?
Differentnperson1: *snort* no chance.
- A couple angry of aggressive rebull sips later-
-ND THEN WHEN IM DONE MAKING A BLOOD MARTINIE WITH YOUR CRACKED SKULL ILL JAB YOUR PRETTY LITTLE EYES OUT, STAB THEM ON A TOOTHPICK AND USE THEM LIKE OLIVES IN MY BLOOD-TINIE. IM FUCJIG SGREK NOW.
SO WHAT TGE DUCK ARE YOU DOIN', IN MA SWAHMP!?
Please tell me people like my crack.
I dont work very hard but i work decently on it, yk?
Comment pleasse, i feel so lonely 🥺😭
