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The Mind Reader! ~ SKJ

I want to die, I don't want to trust people then why the fuck I do it every time and each and every time I get ditched by my own people! Who pretends they are mine, but they aren't. I do not want to do it anymore! I cannot do it anymore! I want to get used to with all the shit that happens to me on daily basis but why the fvck I can't? why I can't I get this straight into my mind that nobody loves me nor nobody deserves my love as well! I hate myself! I fall for anybody easily! I understand them and they let me love them but what they do is call me complicated and leave me neither they try to understand me nor they try to learn me! I just want to go away and far away from everything and settle my life there. Either I do anything or not but I just want to go away from everything and never come back! I am done man! I can't do this anymore! - were her thoughts but I can't just let the love of my life think this way that she deserves all this.

"I can read your mind Jin! Stop acting already and leave me alone! Those are my thoughts let me live with them!" she bluntly spoke while I stood there too stunned to even speak. Stop! If you can really read my mind, then stop on your tracks after this I would never bother you. She stopped. "Go on!" "Oh! Excited this much of getting rid of me that you really stopped?" I taunted her. She scoffed and said, "Say it or I am leaving!"

Okay, here you go! I love you! I love you so much! And trust me I really do; I know you have really abandoned yourself from trusting anybody but please this one. I will keep you happy throughout my life. I cannot afford to see you sad. I love your smile, your hair, your eyes, and most importantly your nature and you! I know you would say that my nature is just too cold, how could you love it? So here is the answer to that as well! I want to get you back to the real self that you were and for that I have to love your this nature as well! As you hate your this self then I will help you fall in love with yourself! That's all what I have to say. "If you still want to leave you can! I will not stop you now."

I said it! This was the longest time I had eye contact with her. She is just too fragile and precious to me; she is like glass for me. Just like if we hurt or threw the glass it would shatter in pieces but in return the glass would hurt us as well!

"Will you stop the train of your thoughts just for a second? I just can't focus on my decision!" "I am sorry!"

Rather than saying anything to me or looking at me she hugged me, tightly. Tight as if she would loosen up the grip I will vanish away and will never come back. It was clear till now that she lov-

"STOP! you can't say that I love you!" okay! That broke my heart but I have to pretend I am fine with it or else it would hurt her!

"You don't have to pity me Jin! Stop! just stop with all of this! I just cannot manage you now! You love me I accept it but try and accept this as well that I have never loved you nor I think I will ever do! I hugged you because your words were just too comforting and I loved the way you comforted me! You don't have to pretend in front of me, I know I just must have hurt you by saying I don't love you! You read my diary I didn't say anything to you, but I can't accept your love in the way you pity me or give my sympathy and not by heart! Be my friend, make me fall in love with myself as a friend. I know you are saying in your mind that no this is true love but stop right there and think about it! Why the fvck would you love a girl like me who never involves in anything, never pays attention to anybody, never talks to anybody, never put efforts in anything and just be a simple negative aura girl!"

she sighed after saying this much in a breath. "I understand you Y/N, let it be. We will be best friends! And as you said I will think about the feelings and love I have for you because you don't trust my feelings and you are making me think again about everything I have in my mind! I don't want to but you are making me do it! So let's be it what it is!"

I hugged her after saying this much and put my hands on her shoulders and walked to the classes through the corridor. I loved her and will always love her even if she doubts it! She will someday fall for me and that day isn't that far! Trust me!