Never Say Never (Completed)

Twenty-Nine {If I Ever Come Back}

Stuffing a small duffel bag for a weekend trip to New York shouldn't have been as heart wrenching as it was. If I didn't know any better, I'd think I was going for good seeing the expression on Navi and William's faces as they watched Bryan shut the trunk behind me.

"Why can't we come with you?" Will asks.

"Yeah, I come with you, Charlie!" Navi adds with a puppy dog look.

I crouched and kissed her forehead. "They won't let anyone back in with me anyway, Nav. It'll be so boring. You'll have two sleeps and then I'll be back home, I promise."

She nodded before throwing her arms around my neck and kissing my cheek. "I'm going to miss you, Charlie."

"I'll miss you too, Nav. You better behave for Christopher and Rosanna, okay?"

She agrees before rushing up the steps to where Rosanna is standing in the doorway. William hugged me next but lingered longer than Navi.

"I don't want to stay with him, Charlie." he whispered into my stomach.

"You'll be fine, Will. It's a weekend."

"But it's not." He argued. "In a few months you'll be leaving for good and we'll have to stay with him."

I sighed and touched my finger under his chin so he was looking up at me.

"I love you, Will. I'll be back in a blink of an eye."

He hugged me one more time before whispering, "Love you too." And heading back up the stairs and into the house with a pout.

It's Lucas who, even after his breakdown a few weeks ago, looks to be the most accepting of the situation. He embraces me quickly.

"You behave yourself." He jokes, jerking his chin in Bryan's direction. "Use protection."

I laughed and squeezed my brother's shoulder. "Take care the kids, okay?"

"Always."

I kissed his cheek and took a step back so I was in front of Bryan holding the door open.

"Ready?" he asked with a raised brow.

"As I'll ever be."

*

The quiet chatter of women sounded through the hall as I maneuvered my way through all the tables set up in the lounge. My eyes immediately fell on my mother rocking back an forth watching a Grace and Frankie rerun.

"Hi, Mama." I said softly, careful not to startle her. She looked away from the screen and at me standing a few feet away.

She stood and looked me up and down and for a second I was hopeful, but it quickly faltered when she shook her head in confusion and said, "Do I know you?"

I was able to contain my hurt and reached out to hug her against me, inhaling her scent and exhaling my anxiety.

"I'm sorry, but do I know you?" she questions, then adds. "Are you a friend of my daughters? She's only seven, but Charlotte, she makes friends with everyone."

I pulled away with a tight smile and brushed my thumb under my mother's blue eyes.

"I know her well. She's a sweetheart. All of those little kids are."

"Yes, yes." My mother agreed. "She's always been so selfless, wanting to help with her baby brother and with errands. I miss her so much but Christopher never brings her to visit."

I felt a tear escape my eye and quickly reached up to wipe it away. "She misses you too. So much."

"Please tell her I love her and her brother. I don't know hat kind of nonsense Chris is filling their heads with."

"I will." I assured, wrapping her in my embrace again. "Take care of yourself, okay?"

She smiled and sized me up once more. "You're so beautiful. You remind me of her, my Charlotte."

"What an honor." I touched a hand to my chest. "Have a good night, Mama."

She lowers herself back on to the chair. "You too, sweetie."

"I love you." I said in a hushed whisper, touching my hand to her cheek one last time before turning my back to her and heading for the doors.

I made it back out to the car and in the passenger seat before I broke down. Bryan didn't say anything, but reached across the console and squeezed my hand and pressed gently on the gas so we were moving again.

I was able to put most of myself back together by the time we reached the airport. I was thankful I hadn't bothered to try and put makeup on today, I knew it'd be an emotional day. As I sat in the uncomfortable metal chair with my head against Bryan's shoulder as we waited for them to announce our flight, I reached out and touched the top of his hand.

"She didn't even recognize me." I told him.

"Did she ever? You said she was very rarely in the now when she was living with you."

I met his curious gaze. "She told me back at the beginning of all this crap with Ian that it wasn't fair that her kids loved me more than her."

"So she did recognize you then."

"Sometimes." I confirmed. "But today she had no idea who I was. She said I reminded her of her seven year old daughter Charlotte."

He leaned so his head was resting against mine. "I'm sorry."

"I just feel like I'm making a life altering decision right now."

"Is it a good one or a bad one?" he inquired.

I thought about the question for a minute before responding honestly. "I don't know yet."

We waited the next half hour in silence before the flight was finally announced and we headed for the line. I touched my hand to the sweatshirt before throwing a look over my shoulder. I hoped that I'd see Ian standing there with his smirk and glistening eyes as he saw me off, a curt nod that I was going to ace it without a problem. But all I saw was a black beam with a red luggage leaning against it.

"Charlotte, you coming?" Bryan called back, having moved up with the line.

I looked behind me one more time before saying into the air, hoping somewhere, wherever it was that Ian had went, he heard me. "Wish me luck, Ian."

Then I took a deep breath and hurried after Bryan, ready to board the plane and fly into the next chapter of my life.