°• Beautiful Blue•°

01: the beginning

    Travis stood looking at himself in the mirror . He was a wreak he had ten minutes before he had to leave for school and he hadn't even brushed his hair but that wasn't his only problem, he looked at himself then down at the sink splattered with  blood and three small blue flower petals . He couldn't think of anything . he debated staying home but would he really rather stay home with his father then go to school? Absolutely not. He took a deep breath and splashed some water on his face it will be a long day. He combed his messy hair and got dressed he decided hed rather be late to school then rush around. He gathered his things and left. His father was already away at church so that wasn't a problem right now the only problem he had was if anyone found out about his 'curse' .

It was now two minutes after first bell had rung and travis was just makeing it in the building. He sighed and went to his locker pushing past the other students in the hall and opened his locker placeing his things in his locker and gathering the stuff he needed. He began walking to his first class of the day. Math. He walked in seeing sal fisher a sharp pain rung in his chest as he looked at the boy that was a simple reminder of his sin , of his impureity. He sat down in his seat putting his stuff away in his desk and grabbed his notebook to take notes .

Nearing the end of class

Travis checks the time on the old black and white clock that hung on the classroom wall. Ten minutes left why cant this class just be over he thought to himself resting his hand on his cheek. He looked over at the blue haired boy who sat in front of him. The seats had changed since old mrs packerton had passed and a new teacher was brought to replace her rather quickly it happened. Just the next day , it was rather strange. His chest burned as he stared at the boy. Sinner . The word echoed in his head then he felt a rather unpleasant feeling in his thoat . He coughed a bit and swallowed down the petals that were just bound to come up . I cant let anyone know.. he thought at he looked back down at his desk and closed his notebook getting ready for his next class . It was now five minutes till the bell was to ring and the teacher wrapped up the lesson.

Travis stood just as the obnoxious bell rang and students began to leave their classes. Travis followed suit walking threw the hall , he looked back at the building doors , he could skip. He could just walk out. He looked around for teachers . None.. travis quickly changed his direction heading to his locker.  He packed up his stuff discretly and quickly and headed towards the doors hopeing to not get caught by any teachers . As unlucky as the boy was he made it out,  he kept walking so he could get far enough to not be stopped or seen and listened to the sound of passing cars and birds chirping away in the trees . Travis knew exactly where he was headed and was gonna make it there. The one place that calmed him on his fathers property. The silent lake started to come into view and travis sped up hopeing to get there sooner. This was the only place he felt safe on his fathers land.

Once he got there travis placed his bag down and sat  against a tree. The sounds of the water calmed him the splashing as the water came up against the shore and back out , again and again. He closed his eyes listening for a while before he looked down at the water. No matter how much he loved the lake and how it calmed him on bad days .. he couldn't help but shiver at the beauty of it and how blue it was the color of sin , of his sin. He reached his hand out to the water watching his reflection wave back and forth. He dipped his fingers in the cold water. Why cant i have this beauty he thought as his hands stayed in the water for a while. He took his hand out and checked the time 10:20 he should head back soon.. he looked up at the sky the gray blue sky and the clouds. They were so pure not at all like him. He wished he could be like that .

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I wish i could look at you without feeling pain.i wish i didn't feel this way. I wish you were a girl but i know im not capable of loving you that way.  I dont want your pity i want to be able to speak to you without sin punishing me. I love your hair but its color makes me flinch.  dose my lord hate me? I love the way you speak i love all of you but i know its forbiden. I wish...

i could stop loveing you.