My Dearest Evelyn

01. Letter To An Angel

PARDON THE MISTAKES! <3

~Mason~

As I lay down on my huge bed. I drape my arm over the empty space of where she used to lay whenever she came over.

""I miss her"" The thought echoed in my head as I shift around the soft surface as cotton fillings, metal springs and the steel frame support my weight.

My hand starts bunching the sheets as it forms to a fist. I could feel the anger and despair build up inside of me.

Why?! Why'd it have to be this way?!.

Another thought starts echoing through as tears starts to form. I let go of the thin cotton sheet as I roll over to lay on my back and lace my hands into the messy jungle that is my hair and pull hard.

Tears threaten to fall as I sit up and look around at all the photos that almost cover the whole wall in front of me. These memories that were imprinted on the glazed paper all echoed a feeling that was now replaced by depression and emptiness.

I couldn't hold it in anymore, it just hurt a little too much. The tears fell, each one so full of emotion and words my heart could never say.

I miss her so much and I am so ashamed of what I have done that I barely go out of the house anymore. All I ever do now is just stay in my room and drown myself in all the feelings and thoughts that have invaded my soul ever since that dreadful day.

She was so beautiful, so kindhearted and amazing. She was the most wonderful human being that God has blessed this Earth with. Everywhere she went, she was loved by everyone. But I loved her more than anyone ever could.

I violently shook my head as I let myself crash onto my bed. My thoughts could not be silenced.

""It should've been me""

""It's all my fault""

""They will never forgive me""

""I'm such an idiot""

""I lost her""

My thoughts were like a thunderous orchestra that clouded my head and deafened me. It was just too overwhelming. I can't live like this anymore.

I took one last glance at the wall of dead memories as darkness consumed me and faded my vision.

* * * * * * *

I woke up still sprawled on my bed. I instantly knew that there was something weighing down the other side.

An aged hand was placed on my shoulder "Mason sweetheart, it's time to get up" a sweet voice called. Relief flooded my body as I turned to see my mother.

She looked down at me, her eyes were full of love and pity. She knows what I have been through and she knows how much Evelyn meant to me. She knows exactly how I feel.

I sat up and leaned on her as she wrapped her arms around me.
"I miss her.." I managed to choke out as tears fell once again. She just held me closer and gently rubbed my back.

"I know dear, we all do. But it'll get better I promise. Just do your best at school for now." She whispered as she kissed my temple and got up.

She walked towards the door and gave me one last look "Breakfast is on the table. Come down when you're ready" she smiled as she shut the door.

I sighed as I looked down and stared at the floor of my room. It was an ocean of dirty clothes, old toys, books, drink cans and food wrappings. But amongst all that crap, a small piece of white material caught my eye.

I pick it up and hold it out in front of me. Despite all the crumples I knew it was the shirt I lent Evelyn one day. I smiled as the memory flashed in my mind. I knew exactly what I had to do.

I made my way to my desk, which was honestly the only "neat" thing in my room. I swerved past the Lego blocks and metal cans and sat down.

I neatly folded the shirt and set it aside then turned my attention to the empty journal in front of me.

After grabbing a pen, I took a deep breath as I slowly started writing:

My dearest Evelyn,

You were right. My room does resemble the Amazon forest. It's puzzling and very difficult to navigate through. But one amazing thing it has is diversity.

Honestly, there is no diversity in my "Amazon Forest". There's nothing special about it. All the species that I have discovered to be residing in it can be found everywhere.

Eg. Disgustingly filthy underwear and clothes, old and worn out books, toys that I've had since I was 5, drink cans and old mouldy food that give off most dreadful stench.

All of which can be found in any typical 17 year old bedroom. Unless you are a neat freak of course.

But recently I have found something that is worth millions. Do you remember that shirt I lent you? It was just a plain, old white t-shirt back then.

This shirt is worth more now because it has the memory of what happened that day embedded into the cheap fabric. I will never let this go.

Now, let's take a walk down memory lane..."