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Chapter 9: Iron Man II

EDWARDS AIR FORCE BASE

MOJAVE, CA

Rhodey: Edwards Tower, this is Lieutenant Colonel James Rhodes, inbound from three miles east at 5,000 feet... [Rhodey lands in the suit.]

Major Allen: Colonel.

Rhodey: Major.

Major Allen: Wow.

Rhodey: Yeah. Let's take it inside.

Major Allen: Clear the area.

[The scene changes to Tony, still in the Iron Man suit, sitting inside a doughnut, eating a doughnut. The camera pans to see Nick Fury looking up at him.]

Nick Fury: Sir! I'm gonna have to ask you to exit the doughnut.

Everybody laughs, not expecting Fury to have said something like that. Tony just shakes his head with a small smile.

Tony: [Now inside sitting at a table with Fury] I told you I don't wanna join your super-secret boy band.

Fury: No, no, no. See, I remember, you do everything yourself. How's that working out for you?

Tony: It's... It's... It's... I'm sorry. I don't wanna get off on the wrong foot. Do I look at the patch or the eye? Honestly, I'm a bit hung over. I'm not sure if you're real or if I'm having...

Nikita and Clint snorted in amusement at Tony's ramblings. Clint ended up laughing as he repeated, "Do I look at the patch or the eye?" to himself. Nikita looked to her left at Tony and shook her head with a smile on her face.

Fury: I am very real. I'm the realest person you're ever gonna meet.

Tony: Just my luck. Where's the staff here?

Fury: [Taking a glance at the rash crawling up Tony's neck.] That's not looking so good.

Tony: I've been worse.

[A woman walks over. The camera angle doesn't allow her face to be seen.]

SHIELD agent: We've secured the perimeter but I don't think we should hold it for too much longer.

Tony: [Looks over the top of his sunglasses. Sees Natalie/Nikita.] You're fired.

Natalie/Nikita: [She shrugs but wears a smug smirk on her face.] That's not up to you. [She sits down next to Fury.]

Tony leaned over and whispered in Nikita's ear, "Don't know if I told you, but that suit looked amazing on you by the way." Nikita bit her lip and suppressed a shiver as she slowly turned her head his way. "If I remember correctly, you were more entertained with taking it off." She finished her sentence with a smirk that Tony matched.

They stared into each other's eyes for a second or two longer before turning back to the screen.

Fury: Tony, I want you to meet Agent Federova.

Tony: [With a look of confusion mixed with slight intrigue.] Hi.

Agent Federova: I'm a SHIELD shadow. Once we knew you were ill, I was tasked to you by Director Fury.

Tony: I suggest you apologize.

Fury: You've been very busy. You made your best friend your CEO, you're giving away all your stuff. You let your friend fly away with your suit. Now, if I didn't know better...

Tony: You don't know better. I didn't give it to him. He took it.

Fury: Whoa, whoa, whoa. He took it? You're Iron Man and he just took it? The little brother walked in there, kicked your ass and took your suit. [He turns to Agent Federova] Is that possible?

Agent Federova: Well, according to Mr. Stark's database security guidelines, there are redundancies to prevent unauthorized usage.

Tony: What do you want from me?

Fury: What do we want from you? What do you want from me? [Agent Federova stands up and leaves.] You have become a problem, a problem I have to deal with. Contrary to your belief, you are not the center of my universe. I have bigger problems than you in the southwest region to deal with. [Federova returns with an injection.] Hit him.

Tony: Oh, God, are you gonna steal my kidney and sell it? [Nikita gives him the injection and his rash noticeably goes down.] Could you please not do anything awful for five seconds? [Motioning to Nikita who now sat beside him.] What did she just do to me?

Fury: What did she just do for you? Agent Federova created that concoction. It's lithium dioxide. It's gonna take the edge off. We're trying to get you back to work.

Bruce leaned forward in his seat as he said, "Wait, wait, wait. You created the cure that's not a cure for his symptoms?" Nikita turned to face him as she shrugged and said, "Yeah, pretty much. Why?" The brunette waved his hands around before saying, "You didn't even have any samples to work from. That's amazing!" Nikita smirked smugly at the man's praise and said, "Well, thank you, Bruce. That means a lot."

Tony: [Glancing over at Federova] Give me a couple of boxes of that. I'll be right as rain.

Agent Federova: It's not a cure, it's just abates the symptoms.

Fury: From what Agent Federova has told me, it doesn't look like it's gonna be an easy fix.

Tony: Well, she's right. Trust me, I know. I'm good at this stuff. I've been looking for a suitable replacement for palladium. I've tried every combination, every permutation of every known element.

Fury: Well, I'm here to tell you, you haven't tried them all.

[The scene changes to Hammer Industries.]

Justin: Hey, hey, hey. Special delivery. Candygram. [Ivan climbs down from where he was working.] I brought you something. Oh yeah. [He removes a cloth from on top of something.] We got you the bird, pal.

Ivan: This is not my bird.

Justin: What do you mean? That's the bird. This is the bird. Yeah, pulled a lot of strings to get this bird. This is a great bird.

Jack: It's a beautiful bird.

All at the same time Tony, Clint, and Nikita all coughed and said, "Kiss ass."

Justin: We got this bird all the way from Russia.

Ivan: Hey, man, this is not my bird.

Justin: Well, listen, even if it's not the bird, I mean, this is a gorgeous bird. I mean, you know, look, don't get so attached to things. Learn to let go. [Justin turns and sees the robots that Ivan had been working on.] Wait a minute, Jack, what is that? Is that... That's not a helmet. What is that? [He walks up to the robot.] Ivan... What's this? Jack. Is that a helmet? It doesn't look like a helmet to me. How... How are you supposed to get a head in there? Jack, could you put your head in there?

Jack: No.

Justin: Try to put your head in there. Go ahead. Try to put your head in there. [Jack took the robot head and put it on his head.] See, Ivan? he can't put his head in there. That's... That's not a helmet. It's a head. I need to put a guy in there. I need to fit a person in that suit. You understand?

Ivan: Drone better.

Justin: What? Drone better? Why is drone better? Why is drone better?

Ivan: People make problem. Trust me. Drone better.

Justin: Ivan, you know, I like you. I got the bird. You said, "No problem." That's what you said to me. You said, "No problem." Now I need suits. The government wants suits. Like Iron Man. You understand? That's what the people want. That's what's gonna make them happy.

Nikita threw her head back so it hit the headrest on her seat as she groaned. "He literally sounds like a five-year-old who didn't get the toy he wanted from the toy store."

Ivan: Hey, man. Don't get too attached to things. Learn to let go.

Justin: These drones better steal the show, Ivan. You understand? Better rock my world, Ivan.

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