This is Rasmus's first game back since he got hurt. It's only been a week out of games but he is so excited to be playing again. I decided to go to this one because I know he's so excited. We're playing Tampa and I really hope they can pull off a win. By the end of the first, it seems like we have a good chance. Then our chances decrease as the game goes on. Tampa catches up and ties it by the end of regulation.
Going into overtime the building is tense, you can feel it. Within a minute, Stamkos shoots it and scores. The crowd files out and I go through the crowd and downstairs. I travel outside and to my car where I said I would wait for him due to press. I turn the car on and turn up the heat. I watch TikTok to pass the time and eventually I see him come to my car. I unlock it and he gets in.
He doesn't say a single word to me, just buckles up. "Ready to go home?" I ask. He nods. "Do you want food?" I ask. He shakes his head no. I nod to myself a bit frustrated and pull out onto the road. No matter how many times I try to talk to him, I get no response or a very short one. It's the most awkward car ride we've had since we started dating a few years ago. "It was a good game." I say, glancing at him. I don't even get a nod this time.
"You played good." I continue. Nothing. "Rasmus if there's something wrong you can talk to me." I say. Nothing. Again. "Okay." I mumble and pull into the driveway. He says not one word to me as he leaves the car, walks to the door, unlocks it, and goes into the house. I sigh and close and lock the door behind me. I hear the bathroom door close and assume he's showering.
I take my coat and shoes off before heading into the kitchen. I make myself a sandwich and sit on the couch, going on my phone. Eventually I get tired of sitting there so I wash the dishes that are in the sink. The shower still hasn't stopped and it's been almost an hour. He never takes that long. I go up to the door and knock, "Are you okay?" I ask. "Fine." He responds shortly. I nod my head once again in frustration and go to our bedroom.
I change into pajamas and roll onto my side, facing away from the door. I can't fall asleep so I just lay there, hearing the bathroom door open and him walking into the room. I hear the door close behind Rasmus and his footsteps coming to my side of the bed. I close my eyes and pretend to sleep to see what he will do. I feel him sit down by me and rest his hand on my hip. I wish he would talk to me.
After a minute I feel his head join his hand. I want to open my eyes and hug him but he doesn't want to talk and I can't make him. There's no shaking, no crying, no uneven breaths, just his body laying on mine. A few minutes later he gets up, turns my light off and walks to his side of the bed. He turns off his light before laying down next to me. I can feel his eyes on me, I know he's not trying to sleep.
I open my eyes and play with my fingers, waiting to see if he'll do something to get my attention. It's been about a half hour when I feel a tap on my back. I turn my head to look at him but his eyes are closed. I sigh and return to how I was, closing my eyes. Then I feel a second tap. "Rasmus?" I ask before even looking at him. "I'm ready." He whispers. I furrow my eyebrows and roll over. "Ready?" I ask. "Ready for what?" I continue.
He sighs and takes my hand in his. "To talk." He says quietly. I nod, letting him know I'm here. "I don't know what to say. I'm just upset about the loss. I feel like I could've done more. I completely lost my man and gave up a goal. We could've won. I was stupid." He says. "Ras you're not stupid. You played a great game." I respond. He sighs and shakes his head. "Never mind, good night." He says.
"Rasmus don't do that." I say, showing my annoyance. He looks at me and even though it's dark I can see the tears going down his cheeks. "Baby no." I say, placing my hand on the back of his head. He lays his head on my chest and cries. "I'm sorry Ras." I apologize. I play with his hair, trying to calm him down. His breathing becomes so uneven I'm not even sure if he's having a panic attack.
"Hey look at me. Breathe okay? It's alright." I comfort. I hold his face and breath with him. "Relax, it's okay." I say. Eventually he calms back down. "I'm sorry I was insensitive and didn't really try to help." I apologize. "It's okay." He whispers. "Are you okay? Anything else you need to say?" I ask, he shakes his head. "Rasmus please talk to me, don't just shake your head. I need to know if you're okay." I say. "I'm okay. You're okay." He says.
I smile and kiss his cheek. "Nothing else? Ready for bed?" I ask. He hums and lays his head back on my chest. "I'll always be here Rasmus, I'm not going anywhere." I say. He looks up at me and pecks my lips lightly. "I love you." He says. "I love you too Ras. Get some sleep, you deserve it" I respond. He presses his face into my shirt, I'm not even sure how he's breathing. "We can talk more in the morning if you want." I say. "You can nod or shake your head." I whisper, he nods. I can feel him chuckle against my chest and smile.
"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me." He says. "And the same goes for you. Get some rest handsome." I say. I feel his breathing slow and I close my own eyes. Making sure he's completely asleep before I fall asleep so I don't leave him alone to be upset by himself.
