I looked at my phone realizing it was almost dawn, as the room started to get a little lighter while the sun slowly raised making me take a deep breath noticing my fingers were still grabbing the piece of paper in my hands. I chuckled to myself reading the ps's of it, imagining my dad writing them with a smirk on his face. There was a wave of sorrow running through my body making my hands slightly shake and my heart beat a little harder while my chest tried to keep it up at it.
Was he right? I mean, of course, he was right, but I didn't know how to do it. How was I supposed to let everything in my head behind me and just do whatever it feels right? He said that, either way, I would survive, but was that truth? Can someone survive going through hell for a second time? Or do we just lose ourselves to it? There are different kinds of pain throughout our life, the first one is the lowest of them - like when you scratch your knee falling off a bike, or bump your head into the corner of a table, it hurts, but after a couple of minutes you don't feel it anymore. Then, there's the second kind of pain, when someone hurts you on purpose, a girl slapping your face at a club, or breaking a bone, the ache is there, maybe a few days later you get used to it, and only remember it when you touch the place you've hurt yourself... The third kind is a little harsher, it happened when someone dies, or you see someone you love getting hurt and feel powerless knowing there's absolutely nothing you can do about it and it hurts even more because of that.
But the fourth kind...The one no one ever talks about, no one prepares you for and we all choose to ignore its existence until we find ourselves going through it.
The one when you love someone. When you love someone so much and they just...don't. They leave, or make you leave. They sting your heart without even thinking about it, making you feel like a piece of nothing. Your body, and your soul mean absolutely nothing. You start wondering what in the world is that feeling. The feeling where you can't control your body, suddenly there's a lump in your throat stopping you from eating, and screaming, and the only thing you can do, is cry. But not a loud cry. The silent cry, where you just scream inside, and your mind almost bursts with all the noise in it. You feel stupid, because, it's just a person, it's just heartbreak. But it's not. It makes you sick, and nauseous, it hurts you physically, your back, your stomach, your head, and even your lungs burn and you don't know how to stop it. You find yourself trying to sleep, your body doesn't have the strength to get out of bed, like it nothing matters.
It's like, suddenly you have to learn how to walk again, to eat...you have to find the strength to eat, only you feel it. Others can't understand it. Because the other person keeps living her life as if nothing had happened.
But she didn't.
My heart started to race a little faster as her smile ran over my mind making me feel a little at ease. But only for a second. She was leaving, everything was changing again. The only person who knew me, who never gave up on me, and who protected me from everything and everyone. And I was letting her. Why was I letting her go?!
Why the fuck was I letting her go!?
I jumped out of bed, my wrist wiping the tears off my face, and quickly ran downstairs, only grabbing my keys before walking out of the door without looking back as my legs gain the strength I didn't know I still had.
My lungs were burning at each second, the cold air filling them up, and people staring at me while I keep running through the dark streets with the sun peeking over the buildings around me.
Maybe I was having a mental breakdown, maybe I was just crazy for it, or a little bit selfish, but I couldn't rest knowing she left without knowing I still loved her. I glanced at my phone looking at the hours, feeling my stomach twirl realizing, she had probably already left. Why the fuck was she a morning person. I saw the golden glass door of the hotel room ahead of me, making me speed a little and burst inside the building as my eyes wandered around the main hall ignoring the stares I was getting.
I double pressed the elevator button, feeling the anxiety growing on me, as the doors finally opened, making me run out of it towards her bedroom door using my hand to fold the knocker without thinking about it.
My legs tremble a little, as my eyes met hers. There she was. Sitting still on the edge of her bed, with a sweet smile on her lips making the simple act of breathing get a little harder than normal.
"It took you a while" she said.
I chuckle to myself, letting my body loosen up, before pacing over to her as she got up walking towards me. Our bodies clashed, her arms wrapping me closer to her as our lips connected in perfect sink making my whole body shiver at it. There it was. That comfort she always had brought on me.
"You waited?" I mumbled pulling away.
"I thought...I've waited four years...I can wait a little longer" she tilted her head before kissing me again.
"I love you" I whispered "I love you so much"
YOU ARE READING
Opposites - Part 2 (Shuri x Reader)
Fanfiction"Hi" "Hi" There are some things that are better left as they were.
